A Stinking Mess (2)

Lord, why do You reject my soul?  Why do You hide Your face from me?  Psalm 88:14  NASB

Reject – The Hebrew zānaḥ has two root meanings.  The first is as it is translated here: to reject, spurn, cast off.  But the second adds a bit to our emotional understanding of this word.  zānaḥ II means, “to stink, to emit a stench.”  Perhaps the psalmist has both ideas in mind.  “Lord, why do You spurn me?  Why do You treat me as if I stink?  Why am I nothing more than garbage to You?”

In typical Near Eastern idiomatic vocabulary, the experience of the psalmist is described as “hiding the face.”  More than any other physical experience, face-to-face is the expression of real connection.  Forget the digital world of online images!  Forget texting and emails, and yes, even this electronically-delivered study.  If you really want connection, it must be face-to-face.  In fact, without it our very humanity is diminished.  The world that we know today is an abomination.  We are systematically removing ourselves from the land of the living.  For the psalmist, this feeling, this loss of personal contact, is the epitome of rejection.  It is the equivalent of the other person saying, “You stink!”

Of course, the pregnant issue here is the interrogative: “Why?”  Why does God do this to us?  Is it some kind of spiritual training?  That would be a rather uncomfortable answer considering God’s continuing attestation that He loves us.  Is it because we’re sinful, undeserving, repugnant?  But God knows all that.  In fact, He claims that He wants our well-being despite our clear infirmities.  Of what use is a god who expects us to be perfect before he will interact?  The psalmist comes up short with both answers.  His problem is our problem.  There just doesn’t seem to be any good reason why God leaves us in those dark, musty holes in the ground.  We’re left with the reality of the feeling—without the comfort of an answer.

And maybe that’s why this verse is here.  There are defining moments in life when there are no answers, when our best is rejected like so much stinking trash, when we smell despite every attempt we make to be clean.  There are times when life stinks—and there doesn’t seem to be anything you can do about it.

I find some comfort in this verse.  Oh, I don’t mean I can resolve it.  I don’t have any consoling theological propositions. What I have is the knowledge that another man who sought God is going through the same thing.  God might be gone, but I am not alone.  His words are my words.  We share the same hole.  We stink together.

Addition: Brené Brown again: connection.  Connection is the oddest place—at the bottom of the pit.  But, nevertheless, connection!  Someone else a long time ago wrote down what I feel.  And someone else thought it powerful enough to put into a scroll and eventually a book so that I could connect with another.  Maybe that’s part of the cure—to write down what you’re feeling so that 3000 years later someone else won’t be alone.

Topical Index: zānaḥ, reject, stink, Psalm 88:14