Blessed Be The Tie

Therefore, I, the prisoner of the Lord, exhort you to walk worthily of the calling in which you were called, with all humility and meekness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love; being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1

Bond – Let’s see. How does that song go? “Blessed be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love, the fellowship of conformed minds is like to that above.” No, that’s not quite right, is it? The word in the song isn’t “conformed.” It’s “kindred.” But we treat it as if it means “conformed,” don’t we? We think that this song, and this verse from Ephesians, must mean that everyone has to be the same. That’s why we go to church – so we can be with people who are just like us.

Apparently we have missed the point of agape. We would rather display phileo love – the love of people that we like. But agape love is the paradigm of love for enemies. It is love for those who are not like us. That’s God’s love – the love of those who were opposed to Him. What happened to us? Why have we made conformity the measure of Christian love? We aren’t exhibiting a bond of unity in peace. We are exhibiting a bond of restriction in doctrine.

Paul uses the Greek term sundesmos. The root behind this word is the combination of sun (together) and deo (to bind). Do you see the picture? We are to be tied together in our quest for unity in the Spirit in peace! Unfortunately, Christians often act as though they are tied together in argument. For Paul, peace meant shalom, that Hebrew word that encompasses the whole of a person in the world. It is the quintessential expression of well-being. That’s what Paul wants. He wants followers of the Way to be so committed to each other’s well-being that they speedily rush to offer themselves in service for another. He wants the character of the agape God to be so evident that nothing stands in the way of sacrifice for another. He wants us to be dead to our own agendas and alive to the example of our Master.

Does that mean that theology doesn’t matter? Of course not! Paul was undoubtedly the greatest theologian of his time. He did all he could to help others understand the truth of the Messiah. But what good is correct theology if it is used to cut the tie that binds? I have never yet met a man who came to Christ on the basis of an intellectual argument. Yeshua Himself didn’t seem to put much effort into arguing for proper theology. Instead, He healed the sick, restored the disturbed, comforted the grieving and fed the hungry. He bled for the rebellious and died for the salvation of His enemies. Did He have the right theology? Absolutely! But it seems that the only one He was concerned about when it came to theological correctness was the Father. All others were the direct beneficiaries of agape – love for those not like Him.

There is a world of difference between conformity and compatibility. Conformity says, “Be just like me.” Compatibility says, “Let’s see how we can be together just like we are.” Conformity makes me God. Compatibility lets God be God for each of us. Conformity says, “We’re under grace, but you have to do it my way.” Compatibility says, “Grace means I trust God to guide us both as He sees fit.” Conformity takes the risk out of relationship. That’s why it is so tempting. Compatibility recognizes that God can be trusted even when we don’t think the same way. Compatibility shifts the focus of the relationship from my view to God’s sovereignty. My relationship to you is based on my commitment to you, no matter how much we are different, because I trust that God knows how to work this all out.

So, how’s your agape commitment bond doing? Are you speeding toward peace?

Topical Index: bond, bind, sundesmos, conformity, compatibility, agape, Ephesians 4:1