Resentment

This was just what was needed during this week of ‘testing’ … all types of arrows reigned down and looked for a soft target – me being the target of course. And I have to admit, I picked out a few that managed to evade my Jedi sword.

So…for the hassles and turmoil, the turning of the mind from all its preconceived ideas of right and wrong, I turn in my score card. Not only that .. I’ve turned it in torn to shreds so that I can not retrieve it from some hidden trashcan in the heavenlies…or the way down lowlies.

The infraction has dissipated and evaporated … and if memory serves me correctly … I’ve done the very same thing myself. So who am I to ‘get it right’ … walking away, head lowered…. tears flowing. Forgive me Father….for I have sinned.

Shalom Shalom Skip! Thank you for this TW. It was such a blessing to me. Trust in YHVH. Love. Yeshua!! Hallelujah
Hope your having a restful and peaceful Shabbat. And full of Love too!

What does it mean to own the sins done by another? What does it mean to bear another’s burden? What does it mean to absorb the fault and trade my right standing: my connections; my benefits, for the lack of all that in another that causes them to create fracture in the first place? Hard questions!

First, I think we balk at agape this way for at least two reasons. One, we don’t understand HOW to do it because it hasn’t really been done to us correctly that we can remember, and two, done properly, this is not an action that we could ever do in our own flesh. Forgiveness, like all the other gifts of love, comes from beyond us. A human being, on his or her own, simply cannot love their enemies – cannot even forgive their enemies – without the supernatural love and forgiveness of God, done through them. This is why the world can never love, no matter how educated and enlightened it labors to become. Love is a partnership with heaven that is the exclusive privilege of its children.

So the world has its substitute for the real thing here, too. In place of heaven’s burden bearing for others, it teaches codependency, which is where the sinning one becomes a god, essentially, to the one who is attempting to cover their sin for them. Codependency is a sin because it requires the codependent to elevate the one who is committing sin up to god status, and make them the center of reality. In this place, the rules are whatever the sinner says they are, and chaos then becomes the determiner of the next decision. Cleaning up messes and waiting with bated breath for the next disaster (and there always will be one) becomes the new normal. This is not love! This is bondage.

However, when I act AS IF the sinner in front of me is already rightly connected (loving), even though they are not, I make the room they have already lost for them to be able to choose to do right again. They still may not do right, but when I absorb their fracture in that place, it gives them a small breath of victory: a little taste of what it would be like if they were behaving correctly and were loving and being loved in that place. Its like a small free sample of heaven. It, in fact, IS a sample of heaven, sent directly down to them through me. I am the one who is asking for it: asking that heaven accept this person in front of me AS IF they were deserving of favor and love, through me. In that place, for just a small space, I am volunteering to take upon myself all the consequences of their actions and choices in exchange for a little place where they can be free again.

Sin binds us and takes our options away where we cannot do right even if we wanted to. When I make it possible, by stepping into the beating place of another, so as to afford them an opportunity to do right – an opportunity that they had lost – they still may not take it, but they will at least have had a taste of what it could have been like. I plug them into my wall: my connections – and become vulnerable to the consequences of their choices. All of a sudden, their choices are hurting me too. And I am still standing there with that outstretched right hand of fellowship offering to introduce them to all my contacts, and trusting them to do the right thing about it. This is a new credit line for them in that place, with my name on it as the guarantor, and the assurance that heaven will open its vault. This is the only place where trust can be restored. Trust becomes possible again when someone is acting in a trusting way. And let it begin with me.

We get what we give. That is a Biblical principle. Psalm 41 is just one place that shows this relationship. It tells me that when I “consider the poor” the Lord will not “deliver (me) over to the will of my enemies”. I get justice when I give it to others; not when I attempt to maneuver it for myself. “Vengeance (justice) is mine; I will repay” is a statement only a truly just One can say, and none of us are just enough to say it. We have to rely on Him for all true justice, but we activate it for ourselves when we seek it for others.

Even the worst of sinners has been dealt a bum rap. We have all been deceived and treated horribly. All of us need justice, but the question is, can we seek justice for all the bad things done to our oppressors? If not, then how can we pursue justice for all the horrible things they then do? Are we truly innocent ourselves? If not, can we afford that justice ax to fall on us too? Forgiveness is the wise choice for those of us in need of it ourselves. Justice is when the tares are separated from the wheat, but that only happens at harvest. I don’t think I could afford harvest day right now, myself.

Are you using evil in this context to denote calamity? Otherwise, I don’t understand how evil, as in wickedness, can be the result of God’s punishment rather than the cause of it. Some clarification would be appreciated. Thank you!

Great article, I tend to agree somewhat with what Pam’s friend stated, but from a different perspective.

I respectfully submit the following lengthy and over wordy information on Love as I have now come to understand and appreciate the depth of it.

I used to subscribe to the idea of love being simply forgiving and forgetting. That can easily be taken as the inference of many scriptures on love from a superficial perspective.

And no less than a noble quest, to be able to truly love someone to the point of accepting whatever they dish out, but alas it is not a biblical perspective. And ideally we should be seeking to understand the full biblical perspective of this that respects not only the love that is due to the perpetrator and abuser but also to the abused.

Some good questions have been asked in other comments about abusive relationships, infidelity etc. And I think that the concept of simply forgiving and forgetting in these circumstance is an insult to the victims in these situations. It not only implies that they are to simply forgive and forget it sets a cycle or precedence for the situation to perpetuate. Thus entrapping the victim in a cycle of never ending abuse. And this is wrong. I do not need to state this to anyone, it is an apparent thing to any reasonable person to come to this conclusion. Yet in the frame work of “love”, “forgive” and “forget” it presents a moral problem for the believer, yet it need not with a clear and deeper understanding of what Christ actually said and did.

In Corinthians Paul challenges people with “would it not be better to suffer loss”? And if I take that statement as applying to ALL things then the true answer would be no. No it would not be better. No it would not be better for someone in an abusive relationship to suffer loss at the hand of an abuser. No it would not be better for a child to suffer the torment and fear of a paedophile. No it would not be better for a rapist to have an expectation that their victim should accept the loss that they have suffered. No it would not be better for an intruder to get away with their crime and for the victim to suffer the loss.

No it would not be better for the world to forget and forgive what Hitler and many like him did, and their crimes against people. To expect that anyone who has suffered loss or injustice at the hand of any tyrant and to simply accept it is wrong. And I do not think that Paul would have been expecting that either.

From what I have been able to research regarding Paul’s statement is that he was addressing “frivolous” matters and claims between believers that were impacting on the witness of the church as a whole. It was impacting because these frivolous matters were being put before corrupt courts and judges using corrupt witnesses who were subject to bribery. It was impacting because the legal system of that day was an immature system and subject to open demonstration to the public. It was impacting because the laws that were used were immature in comparison to the law as it exists today in first world modern society.

For matters of substance and significance Paul also told believers to abide in the laws of the land, he stated very clearly that these laws were instituted by God for the good of all. He spoke of meeting the requirements of these laws to the best of our ability. So Paul in my opinion was addressing a specific level of ignorance that existed at Corinth, an imbalance that was evident in their not wanting to suffer even the smallest of slights against them. Paul was not encouraging them or us to accept ALL actions against us, and for us to perceive that he was does a significant injustice to all who have suffered at the hands of evil.

And Jesus did not expect that either. When Jesus spoke “do not resist evil” and then said “turn the other cheek also”. I think we as Christians have completely missed what He meant, we have completely accepted a lie, that being to accept anything dished out to us, to be treated as door matts, to simply accept injustices that are directed at us not just because we are believers but within general society as well. And this is exactly what I once believed, but am discovering it is not what Jesus was actually saying.

We need to understand the words spoken within the culture that existed at the time. Within the understanding that the people listening would have ascribed to what Jesus said.

The Jewish people were living in a time and place where they were subjects of Rome, as such and given the stratification of social classes Romans were at the top of the pecking order. Jews were under any Roman citizen, they were second class citizens. Paul even understood this when he appealed to the emperor as a Roman citizen, he pulled out his trump card and called in his entitlements to save himself from death.

So what used to happen? Well any Roman could simply order around any second class citizen who they had authority over, they could order the Jew to carry this load here, cart that water there, give up their cloak for the comfort of Rome, run this errand, fetch this object, tend to this, feed the animals etc.. And so the Jews were subject to the Romans, something that struck a very raw nerve in the Jews as they were God’s people, subject to God and not an empire.

So when a Roman was displeased with a subject what would they do? Naturally they carried out their right to punish or correct that subject, now ideally it would be in accordance with the problem encountered, a reprimand for tardiness’, a scolding for laziness, and a strike on the cheek as the worst form of insult above verbal.

And beyond the verbal physical punishment was metered out according to the crimes committed, and note the word crimes. To assault a person beyond the worst insult of a strike without just cause was not an acceptable behaviour. Even within Roman society there were limits to acceptable actions, to go beyond those limits was not just frowned upon it was wrong.

A striking was to put a servant back in their place, to remind them that they were subject to Rome and to their masters. It was to humiliate the subject and to cause them shame of the worst kind, and it was metered out to show that the person receiving the strike was inferior and in error.

Jesus knew this, Jesus knew that the his fellow Jews where sick and tired of being bullied and tormented by the Romans, Jesus knew that there was an expectation for their messiah to come and to release them from that bondage of Rome just like Moses had released them from Egypt. The Jewish nation was ready to revolt, they simply needed the messiah to rise up from amongst them and declare war on Rome, not a war led by men by a war led by Gods chosen one.

This was the mindset of the Jews, an uprising against Rome. A glorious defeat of their oppressor at the hands of the Jewish messiah. Jesus knew of this tension, Jesus knew of this expectation, even his disciples struggled with Jesus message of love for your enemies, endurance and suffering for the cause of the kingdom, introspective evaluation of your own motives in place of extroverted acts of defiance.

Jesus knew the tensions that existed between the Roman empire and the Jewish nation, both at large and at an individual place, the macro and the micro. Jesus also knew the worth and value of not just the chosen of God but also of all, for God so loved the world, not just the Jews but the world. Indeed Jesus was aware that he was the saviour of not just the Jews but the world.

But Jesus met man at the level of the common person, and he spoke to the common man, woman and child. He saw their plight, and their difficulty in knowing what to do, in knowing how to deal with this level of conflict on the street. So he spoke to them in terms that addressed them at their level and in their individual and everyday dealings with their oppressors.

Jesus knew what really troubled his people, he said if someone strikes you on the right cheek, so Jesus knows the implications of being struck by a Roman. But note that Jesus said right cheek, to strike someone on the right cheek you would either need to use your left hand, your unclean hand, the hand that would have been used for toilet duties, touching pigs, touching anatomy, dealing with infections etc. and would be the hand used to slap a servant or slave. So in the act of hitting a Jewish servant or slave you would not just be hitting them to put them in their place, you would be hitting them with your unclean hand, thereby causing them to become unclean in the act of insulting and humiliating them.

Alternatively, if a Roman used their right hand it would have been a strike to the left cheek, but Jesus said the right cheek. So to use the right hand it would be a backhanded slap, the good old backhander that a lot of us as kids copped.

In Roman tradition it was the highest form of insult to another Roman citizen to strike them with the back of your right hand, it signified that you placed yourself above the other person and that they were in no way your equal. If a Roman citizen rebuked another citizen this way then they needed to have clear social standing and justification to do so. Other wise they were required to strike the other evenly, to strike them as an equal and on the left cheek with their right hand.

So what we see is not a case of just accepting an insults or loss by turning the other cheek for another strike, and not a case of repaying of that insult with a like insult, and eye for an eye. The Jew was in no position to strike back, the strike if made by a Roman or a Jew of higher standing was not to be retaliated against with the same motive that it was delivered with unless it was delivered as an equal to the left side.

Instead what Jesus was saying was to stand before your accuser, the person trying to cause you harm, the one accusing and judging you and then sentencing you, your oppressor, and if they are without justification to then make them account for their actions. Make them justify their actions against you, make them consider the reason for the strike and the validity of their motives in delivering it.

How? By offering for them to strike you as an equal, by turning your left cheek to them. By challenging their unjust action and treatment of you, but not with like action towards them. By turning your left cheek to the accuser you would bring them to a place whereby they either had to strike you again for your daring to defy them, but this time as an equal on the left cheek, or they would have to stand down and loose face for their unjust and unfair action against you, thereby acknowledging and validating your innocence.

In accordance with the custom of the day if they then chose to strike you on the left side of the face you then have been signified to be their equal in this matter, therefore you are entitled to claim the appropriate damages for the mistreatment, or you can retaliate in like. Either way if the insult given out to you is not justified then it is evil. Jesus was telling the people listening to Him that they had the right to challenge that, not to immediately resist or strike back, but to strike back psychologically at the offender in making them justify their actions against you, to do this act of non violent reprisal before the matter escalates further.

So how does this make sense to me? Well when Jesus was confronted with the woman caught in adultery, who dragged her before him? A bunch of men, driven to divine justice by the religious leaders in an attempt to trap Jesus. What did Jesus do? He stooped down and wrote in the sand, then stood and said “let he that is without sin cast the first stone”. See Jesus knew it was a trap, He knew by the very circumstances that he was presented with. A woman. Stooping down Jesus would have been thinking about the law, He would have been writing what was said, and the law said if anyone is caught in adultery. So in Jesus mind.. It takes two to adultery, where is the other anyone? Of course it’s a trap.

The core issue was then one of justification of accusation of sin. If Jesus said to not stone her He would have to justify on what grounds, and if He said to stone her He would have made a mistake, a mistake based on a cunning trap that they had set before him.
So Jesus performed an act of turning the other cheek, of making them justify their actions and their positions in the matter, making them understand that in matters of significance, in matters of taking actions that would result in not just demeaning and degrading another persons worth, but an act and accusations that would cost that person their life, those men needed to justify what they were demanding justice for and why.

They were demanding justice for sin, and yet they had no concrete evidence, they only had one person in front of him. Sure they had supposed witnesses’, but these were false witnesses’, indeed she may have been a woman of ill repute, and may have even been known to some of the men that were accusing her. But they had not caught her in the act, they did not have the evidence before him to show that, they only had one piece of evidence and accusations and a demand for justice, or in this case injustice. They did not have the second piece of evidence to support their claims, instead they were driven by motives to not just cause harm and injury to the woman but also harm, injury and insult to Jesus.

So in Jesus saying let he who is without sin cast the first stone, He was saying to them justify to me your motives, justify to me the validity of your accusations, validate to me how you can claim witness and take this action based on these things? Justify to me how ALL of you bore witness to this alleged crime? If you can not then you ALL are guilty of false witness, you all have broken the ninth commandment and you all deserve to be stoned as well. How hard would his next words have hit home in the light of that revelation? “Let he that is without sin cast the first stone”.

Likewise Jesus in saying, if you are falsely accused, if you are falsely abused, if you are innocent of the accusation or the acts performed against you then rise up and demand an explanation. But do not rise up and strike back, rise up in dignity and make the offender, the accuser, the one who seeks to harm you or cause you loss justify their actions. Because it is far from right to expect to suffer loss, shame, injury and hurt at the hands of someone who has no justification to bring it against you.

Rise up and carry their load an extra mile to heap shame on them and their unfair expectations, rise up gentle as a dove and stand your ground, rise up as shrewd as a viper and claim what is yours. You are entitled to the dignity of recognition of the harm suffered, you are entitled to the understanding of your suffering and loss for no justifiable cause. But you are not entitled to act the same way to those that have done this to you.

Jesus gave this woman that right, Jesus even gave each of the men there that right, he would have been well within his rights to make a counter accusation against them for the breaking of the ninth commandment. Instead he let them all drop their stones and leave.

Where are your accusers? She knew that she was being framed and used in a sinister plot, she knew that she was being unjustly accused and yet was also subject to Jesus statement of let him who is without sin. She knew that she was not without sin and she knew that He knew. “Then neither do I accuse you.”

If anyone was in a place to judge her it was Jesus, but at the same time it was not, because he did not catch her either. Go and sin no more. Jesus gave her back her dignity, He gave her back her right to face her accusers and to not have to live in fear of their accusations any more, regardless if they were just or unjust.

These guys, her accusers knew they were outed. They knew that Jesus knew that they had borne false witness. In cases where false testimony was suspected then judges were to make a thorough investigation, and if false testimony were proven then the false witness was to receive the punishment he had intended to bring on the person falsely accused. These guys knew that, they knew that the people who set them up to bring these claims had stitched them up! They were stuck, no wonder they each dropped their stones and high tailed it out of there. It was not necessarily that they understood Jesus implications of sin in their lives, it could just as easily have been their own cultural understanding that Jesus had exposed them and that according to their law they were stuffed.

This is the Jesus that I know, the one who restores peoples dignity, who restores them to a place of wholeness. Who gives opportunity to repent, who endures with them and empowers them to not live in fear of abuse, to not accept or cast false accusations that can cause harm and loss but to challenge in dignity and with purpose. Not to stoop to the same level of accusations or insults, not to repay like with like, an eye for an eye. But to repay with justice, mercy and in a humble yet firm way.

Jesus did this, he had been arrested in the garden, Peter cut off an ear, Jesus healed it and told Peter that if He had wanted to protect himself he could have called on legions of angles. We then find Jesus before the high priest, he is being questioned about the things he has said as they try to find accusations that will stick.

I think Jesus got a bit jack of it all and essentially said to them. Seriously guys why are you asking me all these dumb arse questions? If you want to know what was said ask anyone, go ask the guys in the market, go ask the people in the temple, I hid nothing from them and I am hiding nothing from you. In other words Jesus was essentially telling them to get their crap together and go find some credible witnesses that would be able to validate the accusations being made against him. Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.

This was obviously taken as an insult to the high priest because one of those standing nearby slapped him in the face. “Is this the way you answer the high priest?”

Jesus replied “If I said something wrong testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?””
Jesus turned the other cheek, he challenged the persons motive, he challenged the accuser and abuser, he challenged them to justify their actions. If I did something wrong then yes by all means give me a slap. But if I did nothing wrong, if you can not justify a reason beyond your bad attitude, your nasty nature, your abuser mentality, your desire for gratification, your need for attention, your want for recognition and acceptance. If I did nothing but tell the truth then why do you strike me?

Jesus showed us exactly how to turn the other cheek, he did not strike back, he did not pay back like for like even though he would have been within his rights to do so given that there was no justification for the abusers strike.

Turning the other cheek did not entail cowering from his abuser and apologising, imagine that? Imagine a situation where someone was in such a place whereby they had to simply accept the punishment being dished out over and over again? Wow, I wonder how that would sit with a battered wife? I wonder how that would sit with a child abused at the hands of someone they trusted? I wonder how that would sit in the heart of a rape victim, or a holocaust survivor, or someone falsely accused and wrongfully imprisoned, or someone who’s family steals everything from them to support a habit or condition that they suffer from?

Instead Jesus said to do good to those that do these things to us. So what then is good? According to Jesus the first thing good to do is to endure, not the imposition of the persons abuse but the remedy to it. To endure and give the person more mercy back than they offered you, endure and show restraint in your reactions, endure in self control and do not stoop to their level, endure and carry the load where you can an extra mile. But if you can not then to react, but to react with dignity, to react with them the way that you would like someone to react to you if it was you who were the accuser or abuser who made a mistake.

Do good. Does this mean we endure evil for the sake of good,? No, contend with evil so that good can be worked out in the situation. Is it good to endure abuse? No, neither for the one being abused or the abuser to feel validated in their abuse. Is it good to endure loss? Yes and No. Yes endure slights, yes endure insults that are made by fools who show themselves to be such against the dignity with which you endure these things. But no, do not endure them to a place where by it damages the worth of who you are, address it, but address it in the right way, not like for like, not an eye for an eye, but with dignity and according to how we are told to address disputes.

Is it good to endure significant loss and hardship to the point of homelessness? to the point of complete loss of any self worth? Is it good to endure the magnitude of this type of difficulty? All because of another’s actions? Yes endure for a season to bring reason to those who cause these things But no, do not endure or accept these things so that you thereby enable them, or allow them the validation that they seek for their power or position or gain. Again address the matter in the way that we are told to, seek peace, seek restoration, GO to that person as you are told to and make them understand. As much as you have been told to go to them, they likewise have been told to go to you, to GO and to meet you even at the steps of the courthouse before the matter is set in front of the judge.

In fact Jesus gives such emphasis to this that He even told us to put it before our gifts and worship to God. Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First GO and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Jesus sought that we deal with conflict and suffering not as door mats, but with dignity. Not just in the acceptance of the insult or assault but in our measured, fair and reasonable response to it, in an effort to bring understanding to the motives behind the abuse, insult, attack or harm caused on both sides.

It is unjust and unfair to both victims and offenders to allow a cycle of unjustified actions to perpetuate. It gives space to behaviour that has no place in our lives, no place to dish it out and no place to accept it.

Jesus said the greatest command was to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength. Jesus said the second is like this, to love others as you would love yourself.

Do we see what Jesus said here? Do we understand that to show true love to others we need to understand our own worth before God? We need to understand that we are loved and treasured and valued, we need to love ourselves. Without understanding the value that we carry before God, without seeing that we have worth, that we matter, that we are also loved and in that we should also expect to be valued, without knowing these things then we will never be able to love others the way we are called to. Not a wishy washy walk all over me, abuse me and take advantage of me door mat mentality approach to love, that is an absolute lie.

We need to understand our value, we need to own it and we need to expect others to recognise it in us by demonstrating that in the right way, not out of self righteousness, not out of entitlement, not out of an over inflated sense of self or ego, not out of fake humility or out of a Marta complex. We need to ensure that we address ill conceived and unjustified assaults to the value and worth that we carry the right way, the way Jesus not just said to, but also showed us how to.

To do this is not wrong, what is wrong is to suffer the same indignity of unjustified correction, shame or loss over and over again when we have been told very clearly where that comes from.

In ancient Rome, servants and slaves to Roman masters carried worth, they were not worthless, they had a cost attached to them. Their masters had made an investment into that property and carried an expectation of that property to be productive. In fact if that property was sufficiently profitable then it could buy back it’s own freedom.

What Jesus was showing in his words and actions was how to respond the correct way to unjustified correction, to unjustified loss, to unjustified damage. If it was justified then you are expected to accept the reprimand, but if what was inflicted upon you was by evil intent then under Jewish and Roman law you had a right to restitution and even retribution.

Jesus was telling us to let the offender know that they had done the wrong thing by challenging them to strike you as an equal, and in doing so to not seek immediate retribution or restitution but to do good to them and allow them to either justify their actions or to stand down from their current course of action against you and to remedy it.

Jesus was showing that we contain worth, even in slavery, even in servitude under a master we contain value as it was understood back then. And that the value that we contained needed to be understood by us and acknowledged by others.

So to the seemingly defenceless victim of abuse, assault, manipulation or loss, understand that you contain worth. Understand that Jesus did not and does not expect you to be a door mat and to suffer in silence unjustified actions against you. But also understand that your value and your worth is also measured by your actions and reactions to these things, Jesus showed us and told us how to deal with offence, to forgive as we have been forgiven, but not to accept unjustified actions against us from unrepentant perpetrators.

In Luke Jesus said if a brother comes to us and repents then we must forgive him, even if he comes to us seventy time seven times. What Jesus was telling us here was to tarry with that person, not at the risk of direct harm but alongside the person to help them change their ways, to replace bad habits over time with right habits, to work towards repentance.

Luke 17:3 Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him.

Jesus gave us the means by which to take up our differences and to rebuke or stand up for our worth. If that person repents then forgive them, if they do not then bring witnesses. If they repent then forgive them, if not then go to the assembly. If they repent forgive them, if not then they are as tax collectors to you.

Luke 17:4 “”And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.””

Jesus also told us to tarry with each other in this process, He showed that repentance and restoration is a process that is sometimes worked out over time and through diligence and effort from both sides. This is why Jesus tells both sides to GO. He tells the person who has been damaged to GO to the assailant, not just once but to GO again with two, not just two but to GO again to the assembly or collective of people who are in a position of authority and have the skills and qualifications to deal with the claims made, to GO to them and state your worth and your case.

“Matthew 5:25 “”Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.

Likewise Jesus says to the accused to GO. To GO to their accuser and if guilty to GO with urgency to them and to make peace. To seek to come to a place of agreement and resolution before the matter escalates to a place that will have dire outcomes for you. And if you are not guilty to then trust in the truth, to not worry about what you will say, to not worry about the accusations against you because all you need to do is to tell the truth, because in the end it is the truth that will set you free.

And why does Jesus tell people to GO? Because He knows that repentance and change, restitution and restoration is a process of mediation between people, the community, the law and God. Jesus tells everyone involved that they all have a part and a responsibility in fixing the situation, not to just accept the situation but to work towards fixing the situation.

Paul echo’s this in Galatians 6:1 Brothers and sisters, if a person is discovered in some sin, you who are spiritual restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness. Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too.

Roman and Jewish legal systems offered no right to challenge, they did not rely on proofs or facts as borne out by intent and actions, evidence was based on witness statements. So they relied on witness testimony, the testimony of two witnesses, hence Jesus telling someone to take two witnesses with them. Just like the law instructed in matters of offence, it required that the offended party bring two witnesses, and that by the testimony of two witnesses’ that the matter could be established.

And this also speaks strongly to the warnings in Gods word against false testimony, against false witness. The consequences of which could cause irreparable outcomes to a party that had been damaged. As shown in Jezebel paying for two corrupt witnesses to testify against Naboth, which led to his death. All because she and Ahab coveted the land of an innocent man.

Micah 2: 1 Woe to those who scheme iniquity, Who work out evil on their beds! When morning comes, they do it, For it is in the power of their hands. 2 They covet fields and then seize them, And houses, and take them away They rob a man his house, A man his inheritance.

And in Corinth who Paul wrote to, bribery and false witness was common. This is what Paul lamented, he lamented that firstly they were bringing action against each other based on frivolous matters, ordinary disagreements and arguments. Paul lamented that the system under which they were bringing these actions was corrupt, he was lamenting that it was an open mockery as the court was a place of entertainment, it was the Judge Judy of the day where people came and cases were heard and gossip was exchanged, and people mocked for their losses. He was lamenting that they had no one with any wisdom amongst them who could see this and could deal with it? And he was lamenting that ultimately it was damaging the witness of Christ.

So why then not suffer some indignity for the message? Why not attempt to work these matters out amongst yourselves as instructed with a dose of humility? Why become so reactionary and so easily offended at the smallest of slights? Why not just suck it up a bit and suffer the loss to extinguish the flames of vengeance?

I can not believe that Paul would be asking anyone to suffer the loss of something of significance, especially in light of him saying “ordinary disagreements and arguments”. Or indeed that he expected someone to sustain an ongoing verbal, physical, psychological or financial loss at the hands of someone who shows no remorse or repentance for it. Instead I see his comments within the context of what he was trying to get across to the Church in Corinth. Harden up a bit you bunch of princess’, stop being so easily offended and figure out the right way to go about addressing disputes and conflict between yourselves. Find someone who understands your situations, someone with some sense and wisdom and get it sorted the right way.

Because at the end of the day that is how Jesus said to deal with it, and I doubt very much that Paul would be trying to contradict what Jesus not only said but demonstrated about the situation. I’m fairly sure that Paul was not stating that the law was useless, he actually relied on it to save his own life in appeal to Cesar. He actually exhorts the church in Rome to abide in the laws of the land and to accept them as from God, so I do not think that Paul was giving a blanket statement of accepting all as a loss under law. But more so stating that we should not allow petty differences to blow up, that we should not be allowing courts that are limited in their capacity to judge based on evidence as well as testimony to rule over us. It was not the first form of action that we have been instructed to take, and this I believe was Paul’s thrust. It was to bring them to a place of understanding.

Ultimately for me I will GO as Jesus has instructed me to, I will NOT GO with petty claims and offences, I will NOT GO with preconceived ideas that are not based in facts or truth, I will NOT GO with a heart of vengeance or retribution that demands damages.
I WILL GO with an expectation of an explanation that is based in valid facts and reasoning. I WILL GO with a heart to tarry. I WILL GO with an expectation of restitution, not revenge or retribution. I WILL GO and expect proof and evidence of my wrongs in the matters before us.

4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. 6 It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

Patient, kind, humble, giving, truthful, enduring, unfailing – Exactly how Jesus reacted to being struck, exactly what Jesus said to do by turning the other cheek. Not to retaliate against an injustice and not to simply accept that injustice. Understand your worth, understand your value and that you do not have to accept being struck. Challenge that injustice suffered, but do so in the right way, without like for like reprisal, do so in patience and kindness, maintain your humility, believe for the best possible outcome and endure until it is clear that endurance has failed them.

There is no Love in abuse or acceptance of a cycle of this. To do so only allows anger, vengeance, revenge, malice and retribution. Likewise there is no Love in retaliation, there is no kindness in an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth. Enacting our “rights” because we are entitled to them under law without enacting our responsibilities as required under love does not offer opportunity for a solution but opens the way to every other adjective that is the opposite of love, and these do not allow a place of restitution or restoration.

By doing what Jesus called us to do, to stand in the knowledge of our worth, to not seek reprisal, to afford and offer opportunity to others for them to correct themselves, to treat others with the same worth that we expect to be treated with, by not resisting evil with evil, but by resisting evil with patience, self control, humility, justice and truth. This does not mean that you condone it, or that you keep accepting it, it means do not repay like for like, evil for evil. Instead, stand in your worth, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Afford your assailant the opportunity to self correct, and work through that process with them if needed until they come to a place of valuing your worth.

If they join you, seriously join with you and show sincere repentance and a willingness to change. If they do this work with them, contend with them, forge agreements on what is and is not acceptable behaviour, establish boundaries and limits on contact and interactions, define expectations and time frames, make positive advances towards resolution. GO to them as instructed, endure with them as instructed, mend and heal with them as instructed. And do so as instructed, but never again accept broken promises, never again place yourself in the position to be accused, abused, threatened, robbed. Protect yourself until trust is re established and demonstrated over time.

And what if they do not choose to join you? What if they show no consideration of your value or worth? What if they strike your left cheek also? At what point do we stop doing what Jesus called us to do in Luke 6:27?

Luke 6:27 “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 “Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. 30 “Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. 31 “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. 32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 “If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 “If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. 35 “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. 36 “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

“Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. 26 It is good to wait quietly for deliverance from the Lord. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is [still] young.
28 Let him sit alone and be silent, for God has disciplined him. 29 Let him put his mouth in the dust- perhaps there is [still] hope. 30 Let him offer [his] cheek to the one who would strike him; let him be filled with shame.
31 For the Lord will not reject [us] forever. 32 Even if He causes suffering, He will show compassion according to His abundant, faithful love. 33 For He does not enjoy bringing affliction or suffering on mankind.
34 Crushing all the prisoners of the land beneath one’s feet, 35 denying justice to a man in the presence of the Most High, 36 or suppressing a person’s lawsuit- the Lord does not approve [of these things].”
“30 Let him offer his cheek to the one who would strike him, let him be filled with shame, let him be filled with insults.

Job 16:10 People have opened their mouths against me, they have struck my cheek in scorn; they unite together against me.

Evil and wicked will come against us, insults will be sent our way, assaults will accompany them. These things will be done against the innocent, they are done against them. Jesus was speaking of how we are to react to the insult or assault suffered, he was speaking to the specific act being carried out against us. If SOMEONE, not if ANYONE, if SOMEONE. If you find yourself in the place where SOMEONE is inflicting unwarranted, unjustified and unnecessary suffering, or placing demands on you that lead to this, then in THAT specific situation, with THAT specific person, you should react this way.

Firstly understand your worth, understand your value and do not diminish that worth or value by accepting unwarranted insults and assaults that seek to diminish you. Do not allow a pattern to be established that would cause you immediate or progressive harm. Secondly stand, stand and turn the other cheek, make the one who acts against you justify their cause, make them give an account of their actions, do so by challenging their motives. They will either stand down or have to justify their actions and attempt to maintain their standing, but to do so by treating you as an equal in the matter.

Either way, according to the laws and customs that existed in that time and place you as an innocent person would have the right to reprisal. You would have the right to an eye for an eye. And now you find yourself in the next place that Jesus tells us to be. Instead of seeking your “right” to retribution in that specific incident, seek to do good. Seek to acknowledge the worth and value in the offender, seek to do this and to show them the injustice or even shame of their actions by doing good to them. Afford them a greater measure of mercy than what they afforded you. Give mercy to them abundantly in THIS matter, contend with them in THIS matter, be patient and prudent with them in THIS matter. Show love to this person in THIS matter.

Jesus was not saying that if just anyone comes along and says to you give me this, give me your car, give me your motorbike, give me your money or give me your house that we should just hand it over and not expect it back. That would be utterly crazy, it would not bear any relevance to the situation that he was addressing. Instead Jesus was speaking to a personal interaction and altercation, he was addressing social standing and personal worth, he was challenging the injustice of unfounded accusations and demands, he was showing them a way to understand how to deal with that in the context of the time and place that they lived, he was showing those who were listening how to not just recognise their worth or rights, but to also acknowledge their responsibility to recognise the others worth or rights. On both sides. And he was showing how love is played out in reality.

I would say that the place where we stop is the place where it becomes obvious that they will no longer GO. The place where they will not listen or try anymore, where they choose to not listen to witnesses of their actions, where they choose to not accept instruction or correction from the assembly, where they choose to continue in their abuse and crimes against you, where the choose to not recognise your worth or value, the place where they choose to treat you as subject to them and to not acknowledge you and your position as equal, the place where they keep assaulting, insulting and denying you, where they do not seek your forgiveness or understanding, where they do not show any signs of repentance, where they do not accept the worth you have ascribed to them in endurance.
“””Let them be as tax collectors to you.”” “”Wipe the dust from your feet.”” “”Do not throw your pearls before swine.””

At what point do you heard these words and apply them? At the point when it is clear that regardless of how hard you have tried to contend with them they refuse to change, they refuse to listen or even give audience to you, your witnesses or the assembly. You have tried to love them, you have afforded them time and space in mercy to come to a place of reconciliation and restitution.”

And how that plays out in your dynamic of your situation with the individual that you are contending with is between you, them and the Lord. So listen to the word GO, listen to the word WORTH, listen to the word VALUE, listen to the word ENDURE, listen to the word PATIENT. But also listen to the word STOP. There comes a place where by we stop enabling their behaviour, there comes a place where we stand firm in our value and worth and say enough and no more. There comes a place that the problematic behaviour that caused the issue in the first instance needs to be addressed. There comes a place where no amount of mercy shown, no amount of patience given and no amount of loss endured will change them. As Paul spoke in Romans 12:20 Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

And understand that burning coals was not their conscience kicking in, it was an embarrassment suffered. If you let your fire in your hearth go out then you would need to duck over to the neighbour and asked for a heap of burning coals to get it going again. They did not have matches or a lighter. So they would toddle off to the neighbour with their tail between their legs and get some coals, they would then place the pot of coals on their heads to carry it back. Hence heaping burning coals on their heads. They were embarrassed, they had failed in a primary duty of keeping the fire burning, they had allowed the main source of warmth, comfort, food supply and vision to go out.

We don’t get the context of this in today’s world unless you have been out camping in the rain. This was not simply a matter of crikey the fire got wet, it was a matter of life and death, and by allowing the stupid neighbour to take some coals you were actually giving them life, just like if you fed them, just like if you clothed them, just like if you gave them a drink. These were not just simple acts of kindness, they were acts of sustenance, acts that could spell out the difference between life and death.

So if you found your enemy hungry, thirsty, cold and exposed, you would be entitled to pass by the other side because of how they treated you, instead you are told to feed them, to cover them, to satisfy their need to live. To satisfy your responsibility to do good. These are true acts of good, not just accepting something that is dished out to you harshly and sucking it up, instead to stand in the value of your worth and with dignity and say regardless of how you have treated me, given the injustice of your actions, given my right to retaliate I will not treat you likewise.

This is the same as what Jesus taught us, to do good. So then one needs to define what is good? Is it good to enable a behaviour pattern that is destructive? Is it good to allow that pattern of behaviour to do ongoing damage to emotional, physical, financial, spiritual health and wellbeing? To damage the worth and value of those being subject to it? At what point will they acknowledge that they have burning coals on their heads?

Is it good to leave a woman in domestic violence? To leave a child subject to abuse by people they trusted? To allow emotional and psychological abuse of an individual? To let a robber keep the rewards of their crimes? To let a habitual liar keep lying? To leave a narcissist to do damage to those around them? To allow a psychopath access to weapons? What is “good” for a person who does not acknowledge their place in an offence? Who will not see that they have even caused harm?

Just as it is not good to allow these things it is also not good to contend with your specific accuser or abuser to the place of significant detriment to you. You need to understand your worth and value in the dynamic of the situation that you are contending with. You need to set the limits and boundaries to your efforts to contend and allow the other to change. You need to accept that no matter how hard you try to effect this outcome to a place of restitution and resolution through patience and mercy that sometimes even that is not enough. Sometimes we need to come to a place where the other needs to be made to account for their actions, to show just cause for the insults and assaults. Sometimes it needs to be confronted with the truth of their actions and the effect of those actions for that person to see it, before any form of restitution can be made.

“For unless they can be convinced through good, then they need to acknowledge through the wrongs done. But measured and delivered in mercy and love and in doing these things to ensure that we see the value in them, because God sees the value in them.

Seek, pursue and chase down justice, be relentless in your quest. Love mercy, love that you have been given mercy, love that mercy found you dead in your trespasses and contended with you, and show that mercy in all the justice that you seek. And in all your ways acknowledge Him, walk humbly before your God, forgive as you have been forgiven when true repentance is set before you, contend as you have been contended with in the working out of that, make your rights known but show humility and grace in place of retribution and revenge.”

1 Corinthians 13:5 Says “love keeps no record of wrongs”. The notion that people carry around of this statement is that we are to keep no record of any wrongs that have been done by someone, that it would be loving to simply pretend as though it never happened, as if that was the right interpretation of this passage. It seems that a lot of us have believed this, but that can not be the truth of the passage because to pretend like something never happened would be a lie, and we are told not to lie.
So instead of just guessing based on what is essentially an inferred meaning we need to find the true meaning. And as is usual to do this it is best to look to not only the original language but also the broader context of time and place as well as culture and the people to whom the passage was written. We also need to understand it within the context of what Jesus actually said to do in regards to enemies and conflict.

The Greek words literal translation is “does not count (to itself) evil”. Does not keep an account of the evil done, but why? Even when is love supposed to do this? Is this something that should be done regardless of the evil suffered and being perpetuated against you? Is this something that is required or demanded if someone is continuing in a pattern of behaviour that is causing you on going damage?
Or is this something that is required in a transaction of forgiveness? I say transaction because forgiveness for minor offence should be as simple as not holding an account of someone infractions against you for mistakes they unintentionally make, maybe even minor intentional ones. It would be ridiculous to expect someone to offer you an apology for an oversensitive ego. But in matters of significant loss, or in matters of unjustified continued assault either emotionally or physically then a reckoning needs to take place, an account needs to be given for that type of behaviour.

Because to allow it to continue does not address the evil being suffered or the cause. So the first step in holding no record of wrongs is to stop the wrongs from continuing, to stop the perpetuation of the cause of the evil, to not do so would be to allow that evil to perpetuate, and in it’s perpetual motion there is no way to forget it, there is no way to move to a place of not holding that wrong or evil, it does not allow you to “not count to yourself the evil” being done against you as it is right there in front of you all the time.
So a transaction needs to take place before you can “hold no record of wrong”. And that is for the wrong to be stopped. So when we see and read about how Jesus said to deal with evil against us we can also see how Paul was wanting these people to move past the suffering endured and being inflicted. To deal with the problems through wise council, council that understood the dignity of each person in the transaction and ensured that the sin between them was dealt with the same ways Jesus said to do so.

In this transaction the one causing the suffering needs to see the effect of their actions, they need to understand that their role in this has caused damage to another, the one suffering needs to bring this to the others attention with dignity, understanding their worth and value and also the others worth and value in Gods eyes. This can not always happen as a direct transaction between them, sometimes emotions are too raw or hurts run too deep. Sometimes danger of proximity in an abuse situation would not allow this.
So then others with wisdom and understanding need to be called on or step in and deal with the situation, to not let it deteriorate, to not let it perpetuate. If you have suffered the wrong the you need to tern the other cheek the way Jesus showed was the right way to deal with accusation or abuse. And you need to make that abuser account for or justify their actions, not to just accept them and allow it to perpetuate.

The abuser then needs to repent of that, they need to show a true willingness to change and the abused needs to contend with them in love to help in that process. This needs to be the transaction that takes place, repentance and forgiveness, not forgetness. Not to forget the damage that has been done or could be done again but to not bring that action or damage to account of the one that you are supposed to be enduring with in effecting their repentance of it.

So as much as Jesus advocated love towards enemies, to me it seems that he also set limits. He set boundaries and measures, and he applied these not just to the action performed but to the responsibilities of both sides in the transaction of love, forgiveness, remediation, restoration and sometimes even punishment that happens as well as what our motives behind them on either side should be.
In Jesus transaction, you do not simply forget, you hold no malice, you bear no resentment, you carry no grudge against the person who seeks to cause you damage. You do stand up for yourself, you do expect them to either validate their position or claims or abuse or to stop. You understand that for them to stop and to change will sometimes take action and you proceed with caution in the work of change that needs to take place.

It is in the change that we see endurance, perseverance and persistence from both sides. Repentance can sometimes be an act of immediacy, where someone knows that they know that they know it was wrong and stop straight away. Other times change and repentance is a working out, a change that needs to be effected over time. Jesus knew this, when they brought a young man possessed before him, his disciples unable to heal the boy. The boys parents pleading for help for their son. Jesus commanded the deaf and mute spirit to come out and the young man was healed. His disciples came to Jesus later and asked why they had been unable to do this?
Jesus answered “This kind can go out by nothing, but by prayer and fasting”. Prayer being the place of submission before God, the place of sacrifice of self, the place of putting aside ones own requests and needs to seek the mind and will of the Father. Fasting being the place of self sacrifice, enduring loss, going without, an act of humility, humbling of one self. So whilst Jesus meant that actual acts of prayer and fasting he was signifying that these represented something that was substantially greater, the ability to put aside yourself, to do so in the right way as an act of submission before the Father, as an act of humility

Only in this place can some types of repentance be worked out, only in the act of sacrifice on both sides of a disagreement can an effective solution sometimes be reached. Only by endurance and perseverance, only by contending, only by working beside each other.
And if that other party does not want to do this? Then contend for a season, persevere but not to your own personal damage or risk. Do the things you have been told to do to try to bring them to this place and in the end if they resist do what Jesus said to do. Treat them like tax collectors, no not literally like the tax office but with the scorn and disdain that tax collectors who worked for the Romans and seemingly against their own people held.

Love is a transaction, a dynamic action of both repentance and forgiveness just as salvation is a transaction of repentance and forgiveness. It is something we work out in fear and trembling as we seek to not just read what Jesus said but see what Jesus did and follow him in that.