A Hebrew Conundrum
Look to the right and see; for there is no one who regards me; there is no escape for me; no one cares for my soul. Psalm 142:4 NASB
Regards – The Hebrew verb, nakar, has some very unusual derivatives. At least they appear unusual to our Western thinking. Let me explain. Nakar means “to recognize, acknowledge, know, respect or discern.” But its derivatives (neker, nēkār, nokrî, and nākar) describe what appears to be the opposite, that is, “misfortune, that which is foreign, strange” and “to treat as foreign.” These derivatives are not the negation of the original word. That is to say, the derivatives are not the negative particle (“not”) plus the word. They are the word itself, suddenly transformed so that it no longer means something I recognize but rather something that is entirely foreign to me. In other words, the Hebrew nakar is like a two-edged sword. One side says, “I know you.” The other side says, “I have no idea who you are.”
Westerners don’t think like this. We can’t imagine that a word that means “to recognize” can also mean “to treat as foreign.” But that’s because Westerners think in categories while Semitic cultures think in continuums. Our category, “What I know,” is not contiguous with “What I don’t know.” One excludes the other. But Semitic thinking says, “Wait a moment. What I know always includes what I don’t know. To be familiar with something implies that I am not familiar with other things. In fact, just knowing something about an object also means I don’t know everything about that object. The two ideas are joined and it takes but a moment to see one side replaced by the other.”
Now let’s reconsider David’s poem. “There is no one who regards me.” That’s the recognition that those who know me don’t know me. That’s the experience of being seen but still being invisible, of being heard but not understood, of being present but ignored. Those who regard me wield the two-edged sword, and if I am the one being cut, it takes but a moment for me to realize that the other side of the blade doesn’t acknowledge me at all. I am the familiar stranger, the well-known unknown. You think you know me, but I know you don’t for I have kept you on the outside where your expectations are familiar. If you ever pried under the lid, you would find something quite foreign, a person you don’t know at all, a calamity in the works hiding in the dark. But why would you look under the lid? The outside of the can is makkar (a friend). You are comfortable with the outside. I am not. I want you to know the other side of me, but I am not sure you want to know. Therefore, I not only feel that no one really knows me, I feel trapped. There is, as David says, ‘en mānôs, no place of refuge, no escape. Actually, he says that the place of refuge does not exist. And isn’t that true? Once I discover that who I am on the inside is not who I am on the outside and that you only know the outside, there is no place where I can flee. Adam discovered that as soon as he recognized his lack of transparency. There was no place to hide from God. Just as consequential, there was no place to hide from himself. He has only one choice. Pretend. And pass the blame to someone else, of course. So what about you? Are you being cut by the Hebrew conundrum, nakar?
Topical Index: nakar, regard, acknowledge, foreign, refuge, mānôs, Psalm 142:4
Oh, this one hits home. Why do we pretend the most around those we need the most, or who are closest to us? Is it not so that they will find something they cannot identify with, or something that does not live up to their expectations? If that were the case, then they might REJECT us, and we would be shunned: put outside the camp. We would become a nobody, with no community. Desperate to belong, we hide who we really are. Why? Perhaps because we are suffering from that bottom sense of worthlessness which says “if you really knew who I really am, you would agree with me that I have no worth”. Pride comes along to ‘help’ us in this shame, and pride says “Hide!”. We say, “Good idea!”. A fabricated personality shows up that says “If you please everybody, or impress everybody, then nobody will reject you”. We say “Great! I’ll take one or two of those, please”, and off we go, hiding in plain sight among all those other fabricated folks who agree with us that if we really knew each other, we would no longer be able to stand each other. Come to think of it, how many people do we really want to really know?
To know someone Hebraically, anyway, it seems to me, would be the same thing as saying I would EXPERIENCE them. Ok, that’s scary. This means that I not only would stand there and hear your story of your life: you would emote all over me about it; drag me into being a part of dealing with it; and I would become vested in the outcome of it. Who wants that? Even worse, if you really experienced my life with me, you would know all the shameful details that make me flawed and very uncool: worse, you would EXPERIENCE my flawness and uncoolness, too. Nope! Out of here! Back to the bushes for me!
Redemption; anyone?
The husband was on the gurney in the emergency room, with his wife beside him. I walked into the room, greeted them. She was tough. I have know them both for a while and she has a veneer of you cannot hurt me because I will not let you. I know her well enough to know that is the just the outside. Inside she is wondering why no one is close. I see myself in her for I too will not let folks get too close, lest they find out who I really am. It makes for a very lonely life. Maybe I should let my tears show more.
Maintaining the veneer is just not worth it. Last night I calledl my friend and said, “I know I said I would do this for you, but I am in over my head.” I do not want to admit that this is a flaw in me that makes me feel all too human – when I cannot MAKE “IT” HAPPEN. (Whatever “IT” may be.) It feels as if I am powerless, and if my powerlessness only affected me, then I can deal with that. But just as Laurita points out, here is pride, and in my case, it shows itself to remind me that others are counting on me. They came and asked me to help them. What will they think if I let them down? Clearly, the flaw is in me, in an area that I have reserved to maintain a sense of pride. My friend had no trouble last night telling me, “Don’t stress about it. We have other people to call and they can help us too.” My sense of relief was instantaneous, when he said, “I love you.”
This TW made me think of, and about the saying I use regarding Scripture as a whole: “The more I know, the more I know I DON’T know.”
You’ve probably heard the saying, but one of my seminary professors would say about another more aged professor who had been teaching for a long time, “He’s forgotten more than you’ll ever know!” That put things in to perspective a little during a time when I was sort of whiny about the amout of homework that was being assigned. I’ve been glad for that homework load since then. And I’m still no where chose to logging what that professor knew. However, I’m more in to figuring out and putting energy in to living out what I know as opposed to an amount of things I know. It is definitly a journey. A good one.
“Westerners think in categories while Semitic cultures think in continuums.”
This difference alone is the key to understanding and interpreting scripture in a way that makes or breaks it’s effectiveness in our ministries. It is the crossroad that will lead you into one kingdom or the other.
It is the distinction of thought that will lead one into a continuum of everlasting life, or into a categorized dispensation which must result in a conclusive end or everlasting death.
There’s another Hebrew word that can mean to possess or dispossess…very weird. You mentioned knowing and not knowing. We can only know what gets revealed. We are not always as in control of what gets revealed as we’d like to be. I’m sure King David would have preferred his sin with Bathsheba had remained hidden. If that happened, we wouldn’t realize that truly great people in God’s eyes were not perfect. We all like to control what gets revealed, as well as the timing. I know a few people that know my worst sins because someone else didn’t keep their mouth shut. That person is no longer in my life. These people that know my worst sins didn’t abandon me. I survived the humiliation of the revelation of my sins. These people also know some of my best skills, and lots about my sorrows; but, I know very little about them. Those relationships seem one-sided but I take what I can get until they are willing and brave enough to share more in order to deepen the relationship. I’m an introvert and developing relationships is hard for me. Maybe it’s hard for them too. Meanwhile I will love and cherish what I do have with them.
To know and not be known. To speak and not say anything at all. To play and be played. To write and not communicate a word.
I think you could say we are on that Hebrew conundrum. Coming out of darkness moving into light. It has been my experience that some people may profess to be in the light, but really are still in darkness. And the sad part is, they KNOW it. May we all seek to continually choose the light. I’m in the dark but I’m in the light. Not balanced at all. But then, it’s not about balance at all. Is it? It’s about hitting the bull’s eye. At least that’s what some people say. In twelve step recovery communities, they constantly remind people not to place too much faith in people because people will let you down. That has happened to me a lot, but I still find myself willing to give people a chance. Willing to trust again. Willing to take a risk. I think that’s a good thing. In recovery they tell you to place your ultimate trust in God. Recently, I’ve experienced what that means. Because YHVH made Himself known to me. Yeshua touched me. He provided that understanding that only He can. Yeshua has shown me the truth. And the truth has set me free.
John 8:31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
I thought the whole chapter was worth noting for this TW.
John 8New International Version (NIV)
8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
________________________________________
Dispute Over Jesus’ Testimony
12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
13 The Pharisees challenged him, “Here you are, appearing as your own witness; your testimony is not valid.”
14 Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going. 15 You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. 16 But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me. 17 In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two witnesses is true. 18 I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me.”
19 Then they asked him, “Where is your father?”
“You do not know me or my Father,” Jesus replied. “If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” 20 He spoke these words while teaching in the temple courts near the place where the offerings were put. Yet no one seized him, because his hour had not yet come.
Dispute Over Who Jesus Is
21 Once more Jesus said to them, “I am going away, and you will look for me, and you will die in your sin. Where I go, you cannot come.”
22 This made the Jews ask, “Will he kill himself? Is that why he says, ‘Where I go, you cannot come’?”
23 But he continued, “You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. 24 I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am he, you will indeed die in your sins.”
25 “Who are you?” they asked.
“Just what I have been telling you from the beginning,” Jesus replied. 26 “I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world.”
27 They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. 28 So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up[a] the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. 29 The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” 30 Even as he spoke, many believed in him.
Dispute Over Whose Children Jesus’ Opponents Are
31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
33 They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?”
34 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. 37 I know that you are Abraham’s descendants. Yet you are looking for a way to kill me, because you have no room for my word. 38 I am telling you what I have seen in the Father’s presence, and you are doing what you have heard from your father.[b]”
39 “Abraham is our father,” they answered.
“If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would[c] do what Abraham did. 40 As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. 41 You are doing the works of your own father.”
“We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”
42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. 43 Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! 46 Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? 47 Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”
Jesus’ Claims About Himself
48 The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?”
49 “I am not possessed by a demon,” said Jesus, “but I honor my Father and you dishonor me. 50 I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge. 51 Very truly I tell you, whoever obeys my word will never see death.”
52 At this they exclaimed, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that whoever obeys your word will never taste death. 53 Are you greater than our father Abraham? He died, and so did the prophets. Who do you think you are?”
54 Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. 55 Though you do not know him, I know him. If I said I did not, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and obey his word. 56 Your father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.”
57 “You are not yet fifty years old,” they said to him, “and you have seen Abraham!”
58 “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” 59 At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.
A conundrum. A dilemma, a question with no answer, seemingly. Then suddenly someone can make things so easy for you. And you’re done being used, used up, lied to, made fun of, betrayed. Nothing I don’t think is worse than trust being violated by someone you love and trust. And sadly, we do it all the time. Me too. We feel hurt and betrayed. Imagine how YHVH feels. Do we think about that? I guess we should prostrate ourselves before Him. Maybe I am starting to understand this better!
“I am the familiar stranger, the well-known unknown. You think you know me, but I know you don’t…..” Only I know ME! And only YOU know you! No pretenses, no faking! So, NO jumping to presumptions, nor speculations nor vain imaginations, please!
At times I get so stunned by folks attitudes and behaviours, from knowing them on the outside but not the inside until that ugliness/beauty surfaces.
Hebrew is that beautiful! It expresses ‘truth’/emet as what an object really is, not imaginary!
Semitic cultures are “interested in what’s real and what’s fake, what’s authentic and what’s phony, what’s original and what’s imitation.
The problem with lying is not the violation of some abstract category, but the representation of something which is misleadingly non-real.”
There is a lack of transparency, of being who we truly are, no acting, just getting a grip on being true to ourselves, as Torah-keepers, respecting and sensitive to others, especially in precious relationships. Reason why living in Community works. There’s an awareness/challenge of how precious it is to walk in the presence of ABBA.
Shalom! Thank you, Skip, for yet another amazing/most awesome word study!
Hi Ester, I get stunned by others attitudes and behaviors, too. But then I have to stop and think about my own. No faking. No pretenses. What do you mean by only I know ME and only you know YOU? Are you saying it:s not possible to truly know someone else?
Is it not possible to “know” someone because of the Fall? Is that what you mean? That we don’ t know when someone is being a fake? Or presenting their true selves to us?
Hi Pam, That was a challenge to us to walk in honesty, to know and be honest about ourselves, seeing our faults/weaknesses, and hopefully others will do the same having a clear conscience of YHWH’s presence in their lives, to be so sensitive not to judge without really knowing the other person.
It takes time and close proximity relating to one another to really know each other, to have ugliness/beauty revealed. No connection to “after the Fall”. It’s a continual personal choice or decision that rests on our own shoulders; we bear the consequences. Reason why community life works, one cannot continually play-act, but get real when confronted
Summary- we first need to be real to ourselves, that we are not faultless, that means we know ourselves, before criticising or condemning others, thus not mis-representing / presenting a false front to others (deception). This is vital! That is our Torah walk, we are to stay connected to Him, not apart.
One example-
Esau was the deceiver, (not Yaccov), manipulator, liar, who did not value his birthright, but made a show of being robbed of it. Not facing the reality of who he himself was!
Shalom! Happy walking with ABBA.
VERY DEEP THOUGHT PROVOKING CONTRIBUTIONS. Thank you all.
Let’s me think of when Daniel said the root of the tree must be cut and removed… To be truly fit to be a king for God’s people.
Our pride, our triple A attitude Acknowledgement, Appreciation and Achievement all make us most vulnerable before others. It is when we learn to humble ourselves that we do not need the praise from fellow men because it is but the spirit of God working through us that we find the greatest reward of all – Acknowledging that we can do everything through Christ that gives us the power – for His glory not our own.
David also said “I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I
begotten thee.” And here much later in his life he acknowledges that his worth is not in what others think and appreciate in him, but rather that what God thinks. Our life long struggle to study to be found worthy in the eyes of God…