Give You All I’ve Got for a Little

Now Jacob lived in the land where his father had sojourned, in the land of Canaan. Genesis 37:1 NASB

Sojourned – Did you think Jacob’s emotional trauma was resolved at Jabbok? Do you believe that crossing over into conscious self-identity means finding peace? Perhaps you need to reconsider.

The Joseph story begins on an ominous note which tends to be lost in translation: ‘Jacob dwelt (vayeshev) in the land in which his fathers sojourned (megurei aviv)’ (Gen. 37:1). The contrast between the two verbs, ‘to dwell’ and ‘to sojourn,’ to live securely and insecurely, suggests that Jacob wanted what Abraham and Isaac did not have: tranquility. Having fled twice, once from his brother Esau, a second time from his father-in-law Laban, he longs for a quiet life. He will not achieve it.[1]

So what about you? Do you long for a tranquil life? Are you seeking a place of peace? Are you “sojourning” now, waiting for “dwelling” later? Of course, there’s a sense in which we are all sojourning. The Messiah will come and when he does we will dwell in His promised kingdom. Eschatologically we understand we are not home yet. But there is another sense to this contrast that affects us while we wait. It is the sense that something about how we live isn’t full, isn’t what it is supposed to be. Maybe it’s just emotional projection or deep myth, but it feels like we aren’t really at home. Jacob dwelt in the land but his life was filled with trial, heartache and tragedy. He died in a place that was not home. Perhaps he only found his sense of real tranquility when his bones were finally interred in Canaan. It is my sincere hope that I won’t have to die in order to be at peace, but sometimes it certainly seems as if that is the only option.

When Jacob crossed Jabbok he made some sort of peace with himself. All those years of being someone others wanted him to be, of playing roles assigned by a name, a parent, a brother or a relative, ended up in the intense conflict of the crossing. As a result of that struggle, Jacob was given a new vision of himself—a man released from his previous assignments in order to enter consciously into the true identity of God’s purposes. But even then life was not peaceful. Life was never pure. It was always a mixture of Ya’akov and Yisra’el, the man he made of himself and the man he was called to be.

There is a very deep lesson here. Self-identity is not clean-slate do-over, “I’m saved” existence. Self-identity is discovering who you are in the midst of what you have done. What you have done is the only context you have for determining who you are. But it is only the context. It does not define you. It only offers you the canvas for the next painting you will produce. You can’t undo what you have made of yourself. Jacob can’t go back and erase all the things he would now wish in hindsight to eliminate. Hindsight is simply that: after the fact. Whoever we are will have to be discovered, uncovered and recovered from what we have done. It’s not compromise. It’s recognize.

I long to dwell, but simply attaching myself to roots will not deliver the tranquility of dwelling. Dwelling must come from being peacefully me. And that seems to take an enormous amount of work.

Topical Index: dwell, sojourn, vayeshev, megurei aviv, self-identity, peace, Genesis 37:1

[1] Jonathan Sacks, Not In God’s Name, p. 146