Lost Along the Way

I am a stranger on earth. Hide not your commandments from me. Psalm 119:19 (Abraham Heschel translation)

Hide – Where are you going? Ah, the second most important question of life. The angel of the Lord asked Hagar precisely this, and she could not answer him. Can you? Do you really know where you are going? We have a tendency to reply with our version of goals and objectives, but I don’t think that’s what the angel was asking. He was asking about the final direction, the true meaning, the ultimate concern of life. What is your life really all about?

Before you try to answer this version of the question, perhaps it’s worth considering the psalmist’s description. “I am a stranger on earth.” That seems quite odd, doesn’t it? After all, Man was made for the earth. Angels might be at home in heaven, but men won’t be. They are earth-creatures, made from the ground which they are to serve. At the end, it will be a “new earth” abode, not a celestial floating home in the sky. So how can we be strangers in a place designed for us? The answer has to do with how we live, not where we live. We are strangers because we don’t know how to live in the place we are supposed to inhabit. In other words, Sartre was right about this one thing: we don’t fit here. But it’s not because we are rational in an irrational universe. No, we don’t fit because we have lost the directions about how the universe works. We don’t fit because we are trying to write the owner’s manual while we are only renters. We can’t see the big picture. As a result, we are constantly discovering we are off track. The psalmist knows what we need. We need directions. But we don’t need our directions. That’s like asking a tourist how to find an address in a large city. What we need is directions from the one who laid out the streets and recorded the map. “Don’t hide Your instructions from me,” because if you do, I will never find my way.

You and I desperately need advice from the One who made this place. How do we get it? Heschel provides an insightful remark. You don’t start with the owner’s notes. You must start with the owner’s presence. You must start by engaging in conversation. “What marks the act of prayer is the decision to enter and face the presence of God. To pray means to expose oneself to Him, to His judgment.”[1] In other words, the first thing needed to find your way is to admit to the mapmaker that you are lost. This first thing is to talk with the mapmaker, not run to the store to purchase a map. In fact, unless you first have the conversation with the mapmaker, you won’t even know which map to purchase. He knows which one you need because he knows where you are now, but you don’t know where you are, so how can a map make any difference? The psalmist is asking for God to provide more than a map. He is asking for God to be present and point to the “You Are Here” arrow on the map. Torah doesn’t begin with map instructions. It begins with “You Are Here.” And the only way to know where you are is to ask.

Topical Index: Psalm 119:19, directions, Torah

[1] Abraham Heschel, Man’s Quest for God, p. 61.