For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 NASB
Face to face – “You don’t know me.” Have you heard that expression? Maybe you were the one saying it. It might be true when talking to a stranger, but it is painful when we are speaking to someone we love. Unfortunately, many times those we love are the same ones we feel don’t really know who we are. Why? The sad truth is that we haven’t communicated. If we aren’t really known, it’s probably because we have been afraid to be known. We wear the masks that keep our image in place while all along wishing we could just let someone else see our real faces.
Paul offers a solution. prosopon pros prosopon (face to face) will happen. In God’s purposes, being truly known is inevitable. For most of us, this is a scary thought. We have no practice in this arena. In fact, we have done everything possible to remain hidden. “Face to face” is just too difficult to imagine. And yet, God promises that “face to face” will occur. Ready or not.
John Powell discusses the many different ways we behave in order to avoid prosopon pros prosopon. These “games,” the masquerade used to keep us in protective hiding, are all self-defeating. Why? Because as fearful as we are of revealing who we really are, we are even more fearful that no one will actually love us as we are. This internal conflict manifests itself in some very destructive choices. We seem not to be able to take a step back and ask some telling questions about the games we play. Powell notes: “In all of these games, we must ask ourselves what it is that we really want, why we want it (which will always tell us something about ourselves), and why it would be better to give up our game.”[1] But we don’t ask, do we? We go right on pretending—pretending that living behind the mask protects us, pretending that we can survive without really being known, pretending that we are loving when we know we are just playing a part.
It is the agonizing dilemma of being human. “I must be able to tell you who I am before I can know who I am. And I must know who I am before I can act truly, that is, in accordance with my true self.”[2] Genesis 2 confirms Powell’s remark. Adam cannot know who he is until she arrives. That’s what God means when He declares that the creation is not quite good. “It is not good for man to be alone,” is another way of saying that I don’t know who I am until I can tell you who I am and I can’t act from the center of who I truly am unless I know who I am. Adam doesn’t need the woman for companionship. He needs the woman for self-identity. He is “Mankind” (Adam—the anonymous being) before she comes. He is a man (ish—this particular man) after she comes. All that masks do is prevent us from becoming what God intended in Genesis.
Topical Index: Genesis 2:18, Adam, ish, masks, identity, face to face, prosopon, 1 Corinthians 13:12.
[1] John Powell, why am i afraid to tell you who i am, p. 135.
[2] Ibid., p. 44.
This is very profound for me. I don’t get to be me until I let you be you. We move toward individuality at the same rate that we move toward each other. I don’t get to be fully myself until I fully reflect all around me; and vice versa.
This is the exact opposite of how I suspect that the world sees the individual, which seem to be versions of Michelangelo’s Moses tearing himself out of the rock. We created the myth of ‘survival of the fittest’ to justify our insane idea that we are only ourselves in perfect opposition to all other – and it is all up to us, too – when in fact NOTHING in nature actually works this way.
I want to posit the thought that we tend to project our own god complex onto whatever deity we subscribe to. Thus, in the East we see gods who are moving away from the physical realm as fast as they can go, but in the West, we see a move toward materialism and autonomy, and then we call it god. We project our humanism and materialism and fracturing denominationalism outward from the notion of this isolated Me as the universal geocenter. When we get tired of that, we add a little Eastern mysticism for a break from the incessant weight of Self. Thus, I see people suffering from a strange mix of isolationism and egoism cut with a few Eastern self-emptying exercises to get through their day, but what tends to get lost is the understanding that we need personal interaction with reality, including the reality of each other and a personal interaction with God, too, which neither our projected egoism (the disease of the West) nor ego denial (the disease of the East) can supply.
All real things were created and pronounced “good”. That would include the ego. But I think the ego exists as a barometer to tell us if love is happening. We need that ego, for without it we could not adjust ourselves to be responsive to love. I think of ego as the messenger of love which the West tends to glorify and the East tends to shoot on sight because we are hurt through that ego if love is not there, but love is never enough in the flesh. Problem.
We dream about being ourselves, but the flesh has yet to dream of the reality in which the self truly realizes identity to the satisfaction of the ego. We are all mirrors, created to reflect the glory of another, and, yes, to eat from forks with three-foot long handles, too. The world and the flesh, I have noticed, have yet to dream that possibility up. The closest I have seen it come to the Golden Rule is in the negative (Confucius), which is still centered on the self. Our prison doors are truly locked from within.
Lord, deliver me from myself today so that I can become real!
The perspective below the surface. Ostriches with their heads in the sand. Reality check. both old and new Covenants mention… Making him known. First John 17 25 and 26, then 1st Chronicles 16:8 both declare making him known by his works among the people. Any real believer knows that he is part of something bigger. The western church is somewhat of a mistake. We are to be in the world but not of it, we go to church have our friends it’s a social club. This is so wrong. Are fellowship with believers should strengthen us to go out into the world and not be ashamed of Who We Are. Here’s to Us said if you are ashamed of me I will be ashamed of you.
The closing Jewel I would add is… What Fellowship does light have with Darkness???
Hey Laurita, I read that book which Skip recommended, “the grammar of God”, and in it the author mentioned how the favorite wedding day is Tuesday, because it’s the 3rd day and it has a double blessing. It’s interesting for me to contemplate what Skip lays out here, and you extend somewhat on, as the third day and marriage are related in that it’s concerning propagation that the double blessing is in response to. It’s one thing to have a seed to plant, but to be able to produce something from it is another matter entirely, yet it takes both. There’s a term you may be familiar with, being of southern persuasion, when something happens that is so good that it’s beyond words. It’s “hush my mouth” and The author of that book brings out the fact that God doesn’t say “it’s good but He saw it’s good. (hush my mouth, twice) But it’s not just concerning marriage that reproduction is in play, because others are the field we plant in and (being a gardener) I have to wonder if I spent as much time and attention to the dirt of another’s heart as I spend on the dirt of my own garden what the percentages of success would be. Yep, bone of my bones isn’t singular.
For anyone interested, there is a book written about this subject, the importance of ‘being known,’ by God and others, which explores how our relationships and the brain shape each other. It’s really neat to learn about findings in neuroscience that reflect truths found in Scripture…it’s called ‘Anatomy of the Soul’ by Dr. Curt Thompson and can be found on Amazon
Then I will tell them to their faces, ‘I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’
Mattityahu (Mat) 7:23 CJB
These words of Yeshua may be the scariest of all of his many proclamations, but as Skip rightly divides similiar “judgements” of Adam and Havah in the Garden they are more descriptive than prescriptive.
What does the word lawless mean in Hebrew? Messianics often read it as Torah-lessness and that is an appropriate translation (especially useful in condemning pork lovers and Sunday keepers), but if Torah includes the formation and ordering of relationships then any loss of the proper ordering of our relationships is not just a sign of our disorder and lawlessness, but sin. While I totally agree that the ezer’s role is to help bring the man into an awareness of his identity, how much more is it the desire of our High Priest for us to be totally open, authentic and vulnerable with Him so that He can reveal, not just His Father and Himself to us, but also our true selves to ourselves. Only then can a right relating occur and a loving relationship between us blossom. It seems that modern Evangelical Christianity puts a big emphasis on the initial public display of vulnerability and emotional honesty at the alter of conversion, but then often discourages any further displays of emotion or cries of crisis because, we are taught and reminded, that a one time introductory catharsis is sufficient to last forever. But it is more likely because it is too painful, too embarrassing and too awkward for all parties to continue along those lines. This initial intimate encounter with Yeshua is also an invitation of intimacy with the entire Body (and the individual members thereof), but again it rarely succeeds because it is too difficult to bear, wear and share.
So many find it easier to prophesy, cast out demons and do many wonderful works in His name, (verse 22) rather than do the hard work of relationships. Instead of relationships the church heirachy substitutes “discipleship training” and quickly finds roles for the new convert for the servicing of the institution. But the ultimate cost of this spiritual ‘bait and switch’ could well be an eternal loss of a relationship with YHWH and Yeshua. And that, to me, is WAY more scary than any loss of face, bruised ego or emotional trauma that I might encounter by being totally vulnerable, brutally honest, openly authentic to Him, to myself, my wife, as well as my local brothers and sisters in Messiah…besides the casting out demons and the working of miracles thing hasn’t worked out too well for me.
Then I will tell them to their faces, ‘I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’
Mattityahu (Mat) 7:23 CJB
These words of Yeshua may be the scariest of all of his many proclamations, but as Skip rightly divides similiar “judgements” of Adam and Havah in the Garden they are more descriptive than prescriptive.
What does the word lawless mean in Hebrew? Messianics often read it as Torah-lessness and that is an appropriate translation (especially useful in condemning pork lovers and Sunday keepers), but if Torah includes the formation and ordering of relationships then any loss of the proper ordering of our relationships is not just a sign of our disorder and lawlessness, but sin. While I totally agree that the ezer’s role is to help bring the man into an awareness of his identity, how much more is it the desire of our High Priest for us to be totally open, authentic and vulnerable with Him so that He can reveal, not just His Father and Himself to us, but also our true selves to ourselves. Only then can a right relating occur and a loving relationship between us blossom. It seems that modern Evangelical Christianity puts a big emphasis on the initial public display of vulnerability and emotional honesty at the alter of conversion, but then often discourages any further displays of emotion or cries of crisis because, we are taught and reminded, that a one time introductory catharsis is sufficient to last forever. But it is more likely because it is too painful, too embarrassing and too awkward for all parties to continue along those lines. This initial intimate encounter with Yeshua is also an invitation of intimacy with the entire Body (and the individual members thereof), but again it rarely succeeds because it is too difficult to bear, wear and share.
So many find it easier to prophesy, cast out demons and do many wonderful works in His name, (verse 22) rather than do the hard work of relationships. Instead of relationships the church heirachy substitutes “discipleship training” and quickly finds roles for the new convert for the servicing of the institution. But the ultimate cost of this spiritual ‘bait and switch’ could well be an eternal loss of a relationship with YHWH and Yeshua. And that, to me, is WAY more scary than any loss of face, bruised ego or emotional trauma that I might encounter by being totally vulnerable, brutally honest, openly authentic to Him, to myself, my wife, as well as my local brothers and sisters in Messiah…besides the casting out demons and the working of miracles thing hasn’t worked out too well for me.
Then I will tell them to their faces, ‘I never knew you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’
Mattityahu (Mat) 7:23 CJB
These words of Yeshua may be the scariest of all of his many proclamations, but as Skip rightly divides similiar “judgements” of Adam and Havah in the Garden they are more descriptive than prescriptive.
What does the word lawless mean in Hebrew? Messianics often read it as Torah-lessness and that is an appropriate translation (especially useful in condemning pork lovers and Sunday keepers), but if Torah includes the formation and ordering of relationships then any loss of the proper ordering of our relationships is not just a sign of our disorder and lawlessness, but sin. While I totally agree that the ezer’s role is to help bring the man into an awareness of his identity, how much more is it the desire of our High Priest for us to be totally open, authentic and vulnerable with Him so that He can reveal, not just His Father and Himself to us, but also our true selves to ourselves. Only then can a right relating occur and a loving relationship between us blossom. It seems that modern Evangelical Christianity puts a big emphasis on the initial public display of vulnerability and emotional honesty at the alter of conversion, but then often discourages any further displays of emotion or cries of crisis because, we are taught and reminded, that a one time introductory catharsis is sufficient to last forever. But it is more likely because it is too painful, too embarrassing and too awkward for all parties to continue along those lines. This initial intimate encounter with Yeshua is also an invitation of intimacy with the entire Body (and the individual members thereof), but again it rarely succeeds because it is too difficult to bear, wear and share.
So many find it easier to prophesy, cast out demons and do many wonderful works in His name, (verse 22) rather than do the hard work of relationships. Instead of relationships the church heirachy substitutes “discipleship training” and quickly finds roles for the new convert for the servicing of the institution. But the ultimate cost of this spiritual ‘bait and switch’ could well be an eternal loss of a relationship with YHWH and Yeshua. And that, to me, is WAY more scary than any loss of face, bruised ego or emotional trauma that I might encounter by being totally vulnerable, brutally honest, openly authentic to Him, to myself, my wife, as well as my brothers and sisters in Messiah…besides the casting out of demons and the working of miracles thing hasn’t worked out too well for me!
Sorry for the “three-peat”.
Michael, that is one of the more profound things I have ever seen you say! This one set me back. Relationship is continued vulnerability, and I think we learn, by the emotionless formal prayers of those around us, how to pray like that, too. Then we lose vulnerability with heaven also. Now, if we all sat around in a big circle and shared precisely the admission of our powerlessness…. Oh, wait; wrong group!
Or right group wrong topic…
Excellent views on the topic but the fear to discuss as we separate soul from physical. I think Paul made a very wise statement in 1Cor 7. And we have caused just the opposite with the view get married before you sin because of the uncontrollably hormones…
Gosh sorry posted on wrong blog…