Code of Honor
“But not so with you. Rather let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” Luke 22:26 ESV
Not so with you – I recently gave a lecture on Reluctant Leadership. That prompted me to look at some of the material I wrote years ago about leadership fads, especially the idea that everyone can be a leader with the proper training. That leadership fad will run its course. Eventually we will learn that leadership is a verb, not a noun. Then we will realize ubiquitous leadership training is wasted effort. We should be training those who are born to lead and guide others, not expecting everyone born to become a leader. Once we see this distinction, we can concentrate on Yeshua’s insight into leadership. Biblical leadership is serving, a verb for everyone. It is the application of each person’s unique gift for the benefit of others. Leading is serving someone else according to the way God made you.
Yeshua’s disciples thought leadership was a matter of status. The greater the rank, the more important the person. Those who lead are at the top of the pyramid. But Yeshua turns it upside-down. Serving others is God’s measure of leading. It’s not a position. It’s an action—an action that anyone can perform.
Now that we’ve settled this issue, we should notice one important implication. The phrase “not so with you” (in Greek humeis ouk outos) is gender neutral. Oh, it’s clear Yeshua is addressing His disciples, but we can hardly justify the claim that His statement applies only to them. Yeshua declares that anyone who is a disciple will follow this exhortation. So, every man and every woman who claims Yeshua as Lord will lead by serving another. Seems obvious, doesn’t it? If it is so obvious, then how can we justify the claim that husbands are the rulers of their homes and wives are to be subservient to husbands’ wishes? Should we ignore Yeshua’s declaration? Does serving another apply to everything except marriage? Hardly! If a husband is a follower for Yeshua, then he leads by serving his wife, not by demanding she serve him. His leadership is exhibited in his willingness to give up his agenda and take care of hers. He lives for her. This, by the way, is exactly the behavioral expression of Yeshua’s sacrifice for the Body. If leadership is service, then there is no room at all for status or ranked authority in the Christian home.
Most Christians are quick to apply the servant-leader vocabulary to circumstances outside their homes. They try to emulate Yeshua’s behavior at work, at school, at church and in social settings among others. But when it comes to marriage, the principle is suddenly abandoned. Suddenly men rule. Now the curse of Eve puts a wife under her husband’s authority. Now the man is the “head” of the home by divine proclamation. Now women are to be silent, submissive and subservient. And we call this leadership? Who are we kidding? Oh, yes, before all the women stop cheering, remember that the principle applies to both sexes.
Topical Index: leadership, serving, hierarchy, Luke 22:26
I really hope it is becoming clear to someone besides me that “silent, submissive and subservient” is NOT service by any one to anyone! I think it is just slavery to the status quo, where neither one wants to change.
In Alanon I learned that the most trod on worm on the planet can force change of the greatest tyrant by choosing to change themselves, for we are all bound in the great web of life together whether we like it or not, or even know it or not.
I am never more alone or helpless than when I am in the wrong relationship with evil, whether by fleeing instead of facing it, or by freezing instead of taking action, or by acceding to it in fear instead of resisting it in faith, but that is because the Ephesians 6 armor, as many people have noted, is only effective if you are facing the enemy. Love may choose to avoid conflict for conflict’s sake because its “time has not yet come”, but love never has to avoid engagement with the enemy – never has to be “silent, submissive and subservient” which I think is the epitome of avoidance. As long as we don’t want to engage – by embracing that avoidance – I think we could well be in agreement with the evil of tyranny, in which case there is little God can help us with. When the music of tyranny sounds, we are supposed to be found standing; not licking the boots of those who want to kick us around. I am a child of the Most High and I need to learn to act like it!
I found that the instant I chose to turn – chose to no longer agree with evil – I gave heaven the only invitation it was lacking in my life to do that changing of hearts, circumstances, resource access, and everything else needed for righteousness to prevail. My part was being willing to face the truth and let the chips fall where they would – to stare the fiery furnace of cowardice and rage simmering underneath that tyranny in the face, – and embrace true love instead of the fear underlying that avoidance.
I think many a righteous woman has eventually learned the folly of going along with the “silent, submissive and subservient” agenda and figured out how to stand for righteousness righteously by recognizing this evil for what it is: a deal killer for any marriage. And if that stand ends in the dissolution of that marriage, I would venture to say there may never have been a marriage, for marriage is supposed to only be possible between equals. I think only true equality can receive heaven’s seal of approval, which I am convinced is required for it to be a real marriage in the first place.
P.S. this TW gets copied, too, and BOTH new ‘chapters’ are also getting pasted in the back of my Guardian Angel book!
Methinks it is time to get a hold of that book. Thanks Laurita for continuing in the flow from the kaphale. It is a mighty river this truth that is each of us has opportunity to not only taste but bathe in and swim in. Do find it hard when we get in the eddies though – when we forget to keep in the clear flow. Just got to love that Hand on us that helps us back in time and time again though. Peace FJ
Love Love Love this!! Leadership is influence nothing more nothing less. The only real way to influence anyone is to add value to them ie. Serve them! So good! Putting this in a bigger picture man was put in authority over the earth and all in it which means we serve God’s creation. Somehow we have missed that and think it is here to serve us.
Thanks Skip!
Ask any true leader, in any field of endeavor, what true
leadership is, and they will tell you it’s all about bringing
the best out of others. In order to do that, you genuinely
expose yourself as a true servant of others’ needs.
Desiring to live in the Spirit… “Yah is spirit and we shall worship him in spirit and truth” (John 4:24). Ignoring my flesh is a moment to moment exercise as I am sure we can all agree. Walking away from evil becomes easier and easier. Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes and your ‘no be no’… anything added leads to evil (paraphrase). So many times the scriptures remind me to keep my tongue in check and refresh my thoughts to kingdom living. That is my silent ‘work’. (Gender neutral!)
What Yeshua is saying (to my understanding) in Skip’s post, falls into the Beatitudes and culminates to Yeshua’s declaration “you have heard is was said ‘you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy’ but I say to you ‘love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you so that you may be Sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he causes his sun to rise on evil and good and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous… therefore you are to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect”. (Matt 5).
This is also written in James as a “Royal Law”. This is further expounded in Peter’s letters, esp. the reference to being of a “royal priesthood”. Again, gender neutral! I would imagine and we are told in scripture we shall be neither male or female, likened to the angels… living in the spirit with our Creator, Yah. We do not know what we shall be, but we shall be like Yeshua. So much to stay our thoughts on.
Thank you Skip for this reminder to be a servant first in the spirit, then in the flesh… lest evil accuse me before the judge… King of Righteousness… Yeshua.
Interesting thought came to me. Adam was given the responsibility of caretaking. He could’ve said “look at me I am the “Master” Gardner and you, woman, are my helpmate “. But it seems to me that so many Christian marriages are based on this principle. I am the man, the head, and you are the woman, under me. Simply dominance. Pretty sad. But in his serving the woman, he elevates her and honors her and hopefully in return she does the same for him voluntarily. In my years of living I have seen so many women that have far surpassed the ability of their husbands in
so many regards but they have been jailed in their “position” or “role” for most of their lives never realizing their full potential in Christ and in that scenario the man never realizes that he is called to serve( not to be served) not only to his wife but to all of life! We become more by becoming less i.e He must increase and I must decrease. His ways are not our ways nor his thoughts our thoughts. We honor one another by serving each other ( leadership).
Sometimes, I find, it’s difficult to write these things because I am actually processing my developing thoughts in words on paper, so to speak! It may not be truth but it’s currently what I think. We make ourselves vulnerable in writing or processing our thoughts out loud.
Hope that made some sense. This blogging thing which I am new to is a real growing experience. I write something down and then hopefully I read it and as I read it I am confronted with my own thoughts and beliefs. Really quite healthy experience.
Well, enough said.
That’s because you are hearing yourself through our ears. Welcome to a side of yourself you never knew about! I personally spend part of the day glorifying God for revealing stuff to me that I needed(!) and the rest of the day repenting for stuff I never saw until I saw it through the eyes of others. Both are humbling, for sure. I am also sure we need your voice for reasons you may never know, for when we speak to each other, YHVH can speak through us. Because there is more than a person in the singular, He can be there, too. I am convinced He inhabits the spaces in between us. The more ‘us’; the more we get Him. Halleluah!
I like everything you write, Larry, even if it may be for reasons you may never know!
How very gracious you are! I totally appreciate the feedback and insights. I am delighted and grateful to be part of this group. It is so healing in so many ways. So very very good for me in my walk with the Lord ! Shalom
I read once that the word “head” (kaphale in Greek) can be better translated as source or beginning (like the “head of the river”), and it has nothing to do with authority. I does make sense, since Eve was literally taken out of Adam. I wondering if anybody has any thoughts about it?
Refer to my extended comments on this in reference to Beyond Sex Roles. You will find it all in Guardian Angel (the full edition with footnotes).
Thank you! XXX
Rings like a truth that christianity has placed on the backburner in preference of ‘Damning’ the flow of the Spirit so it stagnates in shallowness. The whole headship thing is about big heads, if it denies & opposes the leadership Christ exampled for us.
Let’s all wear big hats and red shoes anyone & access all areas?
I have found these conversations really engaging and drawing magnet like to the Kaphale and wonderful to blow up the dam walls we very carefully crafted ‘ in obedience to the misunderstandings? of men ” & the weakness of our own flesh refusing to walk out what we feel in our hearts once He has called us. Blessings to all.