The Necessity of Despair
I am reckoned among those who go down to the pit; I have become like a man without strength, Psalm 88:4 NASB
Down to the pit– “Modern man’s greatest fault, Kierkegaard maintains, is his total self-reliance. It is his nineteenth-century delusion that he has progressed beyond his ancestors. This conceit derives from egotism. There is but one remedy for him: despair. It is only when he finds himself in the deepest extremity that he understands his true condition; then, and only then, does he realize that his self-reliance is a delusion.”[1]
Go down to the pit! The verb is yārad. To descend, decline, march down, go down, sink down. The verb might have its roots in the descent from the mountains of Israel into the rift valley of the Jordan, but for this verse, the metaphor is clear. The author feels like he is sinking into (for lack of a better contemporary word) Hell. Life is becoming a shadow of the past. His strength has vanished. His purpose fails. Death scratches at the back of his neck. The grave beckons.
Ah, the glory of despair. What a useful tool in the heavenly arsenal. God just pushes us to the place where all those pretensions of power evaporate, where we are left clutching air as we watch our well-laid plans turn to dust. Backed into the corner of divine concern, we look down into the pit—and realize we were fools.
But it’s too late now. The life we thought we had under control is gone. The vast arena of emptiness opens its welcoming mouth, slurping at our feet, ready to open all those wounds we so carefully concealed. It’s too late to pretend we’re okay. We’re over. Done. Finished.
And that’s precisely where God needs us to be. At the end. On the edge. Bleeding away that fictitious reality we used to profess. Despair. What a lovely word. The gateway to hopelessness. The key to despondency. The remedy for joy. The blunt force trauma of anguish and wretchedness. So much packed into such a tiny expression. Capable of swallowing entire civilizations without a burp. Despair, the true condition of our petty lives.
Without God.
As Heschel once said, “Despair is forbidden.”
Oh, you think otherwise? You still think your life is yours to do what you wish? Wait awhile. The pit is patient and persistent.
Topical Index: go down, yārad, despair, pit, bôr, Psalm 88:4
[1]Abraham Heschel, A Passion for Truth, p. 90.
I am looking forward to this! It will be mind-blowing I’m sure!
You look happy, healthy and you inspire me. Thank you…..
Thank you for the video I love the personal touch. Look forward to the study.
I am also looking for insights from the Pslam that you will have.
As far as a comment for today thought of the hyper Grace movement. No such thing will bring us through. We must have both ends of the Spectrum. We only have the Lord as our strength in this current day. Would be understanding that are is redemption, available when it is over. Hallelujah
Brett, I think the hyper grace movement, like so many other of those altered state ‘practices’ the modern church has to offer, is yet another attempt to ignore despair instead of deal with it. Spinning wheels in the parking lot.
My beloved kitty is dying of something. I prayed for him to not hurt any more, and the next day he went to refusing any food at all. At the same time, he started getting up again and acting like his former self. His liver is shutting down, and he will die soon, but it will be with dignity and I will be happ(ier), too.
The animals, who are still obedient, have much to teach us. I think we are unhappy to the extent that we find ourselves continually crashing into brick walls: forcing outcomes and chasing illusions and robbing Peter to pay Paul. We don’t want to accept death! But pain is there to guide us; to remind us that brick walls are for keeping us from oblivion: not for tilting at or ‘conquering’. It only hurts if you insist on crashing into it over and over, too, I finally am learning!
These days it is not taking me quite as long to stop, drop and roll and yelp for help or start looking for gratitude points or attitude adjustment, or forgiveness, or, or, or all the other ways we who cannot see train wrecks coming well (or brick walls well, either, it seems!) have to learn to keep ourselves from hurting ourselves. Facing death directly – death to self and death to sin and death to a crooked planet gone awry – is the only way to optimize or even access the abundant and ample resources heaven has offered us.
Like Heschel reminds us, yes, despair is a sin because of the direction we are facing. Why is it so hard to realize that despair has been there from the get go; that despair IS the brick wall we are trying so hard to ignore through addictive altered states or ‘overcome’ through alternative practices that the world is continually inventing? I have decided that despair is where I am still trying to stay alive ‘on my own’ by means of my own dying flesh. Of course that is going to hurt! The instant, however, I turn around (repent!) for facing that way, the pain eases and I can breathe the real air of heaven.
Trust is the tradeoff for despair. I must live at that trading post! The foot of the cross is the end of despair for me. Halleluah! May I stay there today!
Thank you for this. I add my prayers for your kitty. Your heart touches mine deeply.
Thank you, Theresa! My kitty is better. He has lost a quarter of his weight and the vet sent him home to die, but he fasted completely for 3 days and then started wanting water again. He is on the mend! Instincts are amazing, and prayer and love are too!
Incidentally, I am a HUGE fan of fasting as I am convinced it is the best thing we have been given to cure most major diseases, including those of the mind and spirit. I am newly convicted of this again, watching him. There is a new webinar coming up about the Biblical method of fasting from a modern scientific standpoint. I am excited! If anybody wants it, go to Greenmedinfo and join their newsletter to get links. This stuff all works together! Halleluah!
The following is not really connected with this particular post, but, as I think it will be of interest to many readers here, I thought I’d post it here for maximum exposure. The Society of Biblical Literature has an ebook on the ANE available for free download:
claudemariottini dot com/2018/12/07/free-book-6/
Readers here may also find other material on his blog of value.
Thanks.
Geek/nerd that I am, after I read this post and downloaded (Thanks, Craig) the book, I clicked on “The Heavens Declare…” (to the right under “Recent Posts”) and listened to what a sunrise on Mars “sounds” like…
The heavens declare indeed!
Vividly do I remember the moment.
A horrible memory, but mercifully necessary
for God to rightfully grab hold of me.
I was at the top of my game, making a presentation to
the executive board of one of America’s top companies.
Suddenly, I felt like all hell was breaking loose — and it was,
deep within me. All my physical and emotional circuits instantaneously
shut down. I was left empty and drained. Embarrassing, to be certain.
Life changing, for sure.
God knew exactly what I needed. And He brought it on. I’ve never been
the same. All my trust has been transferred to HIM!
Thank you, Lord.
I am really looking forward to this study! I hope you are taking as good care of Rosanne as she is of you. You look healthy and happy!
Shabbat Shalom.
Skip, you wrote: “you still think your life is yours to do what you wish. Wait awhile. The pit is patient and persistent.” Just a reminder to the civilized and self-reliant that some of us do indeed live lives of quiet (or sometimes clamorous) despair. For us, there never was a life under control, only under siege. Our wounds were not hidden, but layed bare for all to overlook (and ignore). “The blunt force trauma of anguish and wretchedness” have rendered joy and hope debased and excruciatingly passe.
We’re not Over, Done and Finished; some of us were never were given the opportunity to begin. As a child and adolescent I was marinated in abuse for a dozen years and as a result I gorge at the ‘heavenly’ smorgasbord of despair, depression, hopelessness, emptiness and death. I, for one, have been bled out, edged out and passed over (and out) more times than there are sands on the shores of Sarasota. Therefore, apparently I am highly favoured by my Father in Heaven because I have been given insider information of “the true condition of our petty lives”. Hallelujah! And for 60 plus years I thought I was friendless, forgotten and forsaken. Thanks for the topsy turvy turn of my frame of reference. For the rest of you “despair isn’t forbidden”, just foreboding.
P.S. I can’t wait for your exegesis on the last verse of Psalm 39: “Turn your gaze from me, so I can smile again before I depart and cease to exist.” FYI- I can smile slightly (even when slighted), but I have long ago forgotten how to smile from the depths of my soul.
The Necessity of Despair. December 7, 2018.
It was sad to read that you were abused and not only abused but abused for so long, especially as a young child/adolescent. It’s a precious time of life when you are in a situation where you are dependent on your family, not only financially but emotionally as well. It was so devastating and confusing and something still affecting you. No wonder! You were so young! Abuse at any age is devastating. I wonder how many people have told you just to move on as if they could ever imagine how it affected you. Some things you really can’t get over or at least not easily. Your formative years no less. I don’t know what actually happened because it wasn’t mentioned in this post and I am still quite a new reader so I don’t know if you have shared the details before. Have you ever shared the details of the abuse in this blog or in another way? I would be interested in reading it if you have.
I feel so sorry for anyone who experienced abuse or is experiencing abuse and has no one to go to for help or even to have someone there just to acknowledge the abuse or to listen with even a little empathy. And I think the way some people react to a person’s abuse can end up only adding to the abuse.
Abusers will never be sorry so they will NEVER feel despair either. The lady who wrote ‘The Sociopath Next Door’ said that the abuser will never admit his/her abuse regardless of what they have done. And the pity play will come into it.
I started to think of the Menendez brothers as I was writing this and all the abuse (sexual and mental) they had to endure for so much of their childhood which led to the murder of their parents. They would probably be out of prison or getting out of prison now if the second trial had allowed the abuse to be included. It wasn’t and it is why the first group of jurors couldn’t make a unanimous decision.
I saw this on someone’s fb wall and shared it:
I just want someone to
just be truly happy over me.
Happy to see me.
Happy to hear from me.
Happy to know me
Jeanette, Thanks for your comment and concern. If no one has said it yet “welcome to the community”. I trust you will find us more than a band of merry followers of Skip’s insights, but real people with real issues who are not afraid to be as vunerable as we are knowledgeable. Yes, I have shared my story here many times, perhaps too many for some, but you can decide for yourself if the record is broken or is a Golden Oldie that needs to be re-played from time to time to give context to the caustic, jarring noise that some call music today. See Skip’s archives for “Sackcloth and Ashes: Travels with Job (2)” November 3, 2017
The Necessity of Despair. December 7, 2018
I just read the post. I totally understand what you are saying. Totally. You had actual brain damage. This is more common than anyone can imagine.
I don’t know if you have read any of my posts but I have mentioned it before—undetected brain damage.
I think it’s so amazing that you have come to a belief in God through all of this. Have you written about how that came to be? Based on some people I know, I didn’t have much hope (more like zero) that they could change especially the ones who are older.
I have a friend who has left Japan to live at home so we only communicate on fb. He blames everything on sin not knowing that it is much more complicated than that. It’s very difficult to ‘reason’ with him and for the same reason I suspect. There are obvious signs. I have had to deal with somrone for a number of years now who is extremely toxic. (He’s not the only person actually.) He always seemed to have a lot of hate in his heart. He lies a lot and it doesn’t bother him whatsoever. Seems to gain satisfaction from it. Impossible to reason with. He was always hard to figure out until I came to understand that there was a strong possibility of actual undetected brain damage. One man who also knows him said: What happened to him when he was a child? Did someone drop him on his head? I feel sorry for him.
Have you heard of Dr. Fallon? He is a neuroscientist who found out by accident that he had actual brain damage. You can see his brain scans. He said that he doesn’t know what caused the brain damage. He has a talk on YouTube titled ‘The Psychopath Inside.’ I recently bought his book. I have only looked at a few of the pages but I did see something about the development of the brain after birth. So important! Just the other day I heard that Jon Benet Ramsey’s brother Burke was only 9 years old when the murder occurred so he couldn’t have been held liable. The lady talking said that 10 is the cut off year based on brain science and the developing brain.
I recently experienced a huge paradigm shift. We blame others for their behavior when it’s not even their fault. Blaming the wrong people. We are all victims.
Jeanette, Thanks for your informed response. I am familiar with the materials you referenced. For me TBI and childhood trauma are the elephants that are not allowed in the room. Many people are not familiar with the science behind childhood trauma or TBI, perhaps because it is easier to ignore it than deal with those who suffer from its effects. Early childhood trauma has been shown to change.the shape, size and the ways neural networks perform, which in turn changes a person’s thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behaviors. As far back as 1990’s psychologists developed a test called Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) to measure childhood experiences of abuse and neglect in order to show a causal relationship between that trauma and to developing a higher risk of both physical and mental health problems in adulthood. According to the statistics an individual with “an ACE score of four ( out of 10) or higher was 260% more likely to have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease than someone with a score of 0, 240% more likely to contract hepatitis, 460% more likely to experience depression, and 1,220% more likely to attempt suicide.” I know, I have experienced all the above. In addition “the life expectancy of an individual with an ACE score of six or more may be reduced by up to 20 years”. Given the life expectancy for white males in America is now pegged at 76.4 years I am truly living on borrowed time (but aren’t we all). As for the stats regarding TBI, the data suggest that among those incarcerated the prevalence of a TBI history may be as high as 10 times that of the general population. In some studies it is reported as 89% of inmates have suffered at least one mild to moderate TBI in their childhood. Does this excuse their bad behavior, NO, but it may explain the origin of it and what we as a society need to do to address the problem of having the highest rate of incarceration in the world. We are creating a ticking time bomb in our society by allowing a sports culture that underestimates the damage to the brain that repeated blows to the skull can create, especially to the still developing brain of adolescents. I know this one as well. At age 11 I suffered my 2nd TBI in an encounter with the fat end of a baseball bat swung full force into my forehead (again the vunerable, not yet fully formed frontal lobes) during a Little League baseball game. Needless to say, my introduction into adolescence was not a hit and any hope for normalcy in my teen age years was knocked out of the park with a single blow, knocking me both unconscious and into the hospital. But enough about me and my trauma. Miraculously I have survived the slings and arrows of an altered life and YHWH has been merciful to me. I do know and follow Messiah Yeshua and His Torah to the best of my abilities, though admittedly most days ( especially of late) I am more disabled than abled and apart than a part. I am thankfully still alive and kicking (mostly in self-defense) and confess I am “looking for a city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.” Even with 2 TBI’s I am persuaded it is NOT New Orleans.
“Have TBI Will Travel” ? …Oh, wait. Maybe I shouldn’t. Or should I? I’m confused. Drats. (FYI this is what having a TBI is like)
Thank you for sharing the life experience we can truly learn from. May your peaceful submission radiate upon our treacherous journey so that we to can overcome dispair…
Nice to see you in warm temps!
Cold and wet here in the UK
I very much look forward to Psalm 39
Blessings
Christine
Despair – the complete loss or absence of hope.
Do any of us ever really experience true despair? Disappointment. Discouragement. Disillusionment. Grief. Pain. Suffering. Yes! Hopelessness, disheartenment, discouragement, desperation, distress, anguish, unhappiness, despondency, depression, disconsolateness, melancholy, misery, wretchedness, defeatism, pessimism. Yes, again! No one ever escapes these dark conditions of life.
But, true despair?
Maybe those who have chosen to take their own lives have experienced true despair, though isn’t that even, in a sense, still having some hope? Hope that they will become free of their pain and suffering?
We may not know how things could get better or even if they will get better, but as long as we breathe, as long as we live, do we not yet have some degree of hope deep within us? Do we ever experience a truly complete loss or absence of hope? I think not. And to me, that is a testimony of the mercy and favor of the Almighty. And I believe it is the same for believer and unbeliever alike, for the righteous and the unrighteous alike.
Yet it is a matter of whether we will acknowledge it and respond rightly to it, by trusting, believing, persevering, and acting on that hope that yet remains deep within us, even in our darkest hours of this life, even as His word says, “For the One working in you is God—both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” [Php 2:13]
And here’s another question. If we do experience true despair, is it a necessity? Or is it just an inevitability? We may not be able to control our circumstances in life in order to spare ourselves of the many types and degrees of darkness, but don’t we always have a choice of whether we will have hope? I think we do! And it is the gift of being created in His likeness, that we always have a choice, and therefore, we can also have hope!
Never give up! Never quit believing! ALWAYS HOPE!!!
“It ain’t over till the fat lady sings!”
But even then, who doesn’t like hearing a fat lady sing? And there’s always a fat lady singing somewhere in this world! You can believe THAT! ?
Thank you, Skip. This reminds me also of Avivah Zornberg saying: ” when you mourn, you come down to earth. You accept who you really are when you are not wearing your accomplishments.”
Yet the trauma of a pit experience is so extremely hard to face. The intense struggles of David, Joseph, some of us are about how to deal with feelings,the feelings of being betrayed by brothers or loved ones, of connections being cut off. And worse, the unbearable anguish of God’s silence in this dark place.
Then there is a fascinating part for me: Joseph’s pit experience. First time, he was without any choice, thrown into the pit by his brothers. However in Egypt, he chose to go to the pit, rather than betray his master.
Just watched on Amazon prime Ragamuffin the story of Rich Mullins agin. Yes dispar fuels an engagement with reality and brings forth greater gifts only a life lived in what is truley real can provide. Beutifully done story of the reality and struggles of a sincere beliver and gifted musician struggeling with real life chalenges.