Rabbi Akiva on Fire

Eliyahu Kitov relates the teaching of the famous sage, rabbi Akiva.   Akiva’s insight bears directly on this duality resident in human beings and, in particular, with the ‘ezer kenegdo.

“Some of our sages probe not only the words of the Torah, but each individual letter as well.  The foremost exponent of this method was Rabbi Akiba.  It was he who taught: 
“If husband and wife are deserving, G-d’s Presence dwells in their midst.  If they are not deserving, fire devours them.” 
“For,” said Rabbi Akiba, “the Hebrew word for man is ish, spelled aleph, yod, shin.  Remove the yod and you have aleph, shin or esh, meaning fire.  The Hebrew word for woman is ishah, spelled aleph, shin heh.  Remove the heh and, once again, you have esh, meaning fire.
 From this we learn that there is a consuming fire in the heart of every man and woman.  When they marry, two fires are brought together that are capable of destroying whole worlds, if not properly tended.  To quench that fire is impossible – for it generates the life of the world.  But to leave the fire as is, is also impossible for it generates evil as well.
 What did G-d do?  He placed one of the letters of His name, the first letter of the Divine Name, yod, between the aleph and the shin to make the Hebrew name for “man”.  And He took the second letter of the Divine Name, the heh, and placed it after the aleph and the shin to make the Hebrew word for “woman.”  In that way, both man and woman retain in their names the word “fire,” but when they marry, the Divine Presence dwells in their midst, in the combination of their names.
 Wherever G-d’s  presence dwells, that fire gives warmth and heat, but it does not devour and consume.  If husband and wife do not make the Divine Presence unwelcome, its blessing rests on the work of their hands and they become as partners in the act of Divine creation.  But if they make the Presence unwelcome so that it does not dwell in their midst they are left only with two consuming fires.”[1]