Making It Real

Reflections from a few years ago

Yesterday I lost my job. It doesn’t really matter that I lost it because the ministry ran out of funds. The reality is still the same. No income. The bills don’t stop just because the ministry ended. But the confidence that I had for the last year and a half has been shaken. I’m not sure what I will do to make those payments.

It’s time to make it real.

Jesus tells us that God’s word is truth. He prays that we will be sanctified in the truth, that we will make real the words of the Most High God by turning them into action. In other words, in this time of apparent crisis, I am asked to see the world the way God sees the world, not the way that my fearful, emotionally vulnerable ego sees the world.

That means that my true reality must begin with praise.

“Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to exactly this place and this situation. You know, completely, how I feel and what I face. You are still in control. I can trust You. I choose to trust you, even if I don’t know how all of this will work out. You’re word is truth.”

My praise begins with what I can see. It’s 5 AM in the morning. I’m sitting outside in the dark, looking at the moon and the stars. God put them there. If He can do that, isn’t He more than able to care for my petty little concerns? If He is the God of the cosmos, can’t He be the God of Skip Moen? Of course, He can. So, I praise Him for giving me a cosmic reminder of His majesty. I don’t serve some powerless god. I serve the Lord of the universe. He is worthy of praise, period. Praising Him does not depend on the circumstances of my life. Whether I am in joy or sorrow, peace or conflict, prosperity or poverty, God is worthy of praise.

That leads me to David’s psalm – “Who am I that You should care about me? But You have made me a little less than angels.” I praise Him because He made me. All that I am, in body, mind and spirit, comes from the Father of lights. I didn’t bring myself into this world. I didn’t draw up the course of my life, nor equip myself with the talents and skills that I possess. God brought all this into being in order that I might be perfectly fitted to glorify Him. He knows exactly what He is doing to restore me to the full image-bearer He had in mind. I praise Him because He is not done with me yet. I praise Him because His handiwork shows itself in my past and in all the dependencies that had to occur to engineer this moment. His word is truth.

I praise Him because I do not need to fear. Behind all the anxiety and concern that yesterday produced is my vulnerability to a lie. You see, I say that God loves me and that He has compassion for His children and that He is sovereign, but I often act on the basis of a lie. The lie is that even though God is able to care for me (the way I want Him to), He is not willing to care for me (the way that I want Him to). It is a lie straight from hell. But it is very subtle. It simply suggests that what God says is not quite true. This lie invites me to be afraid. It’s just a version of the lie presented to Eve. “Did God really say such-and-such?” Jesus knew God’s word well enough to combat such lies. God’s word is truth. But I find myself listening. Why? Because in spite of the fact that I believe the world is under the sovereign control of a good and loving God Who cares about me, I sometimes act as though the world is out to get me. Loosing a job makes me fear the future, something that I know is entirely within God’s control but which, nevertheless, appears to be foreboding and dangerous. I start feeling as if things aren’t destined for His good purposes, or if they are, His good purposes don’t include my good purposes. I start worrying about what will happen to me. And the devil whispers, “You see, you can’t trust Him, can you?” He wants me to be afraid because if I am afraid I will be vulnerable to the next step in the lie – save yourself!

Almost every day I write something about the truth of God’s word. My little exercise in deeper understanding proclaims the reality of God’s holy purposes. I have shown that God cares, that He loves me with a jealous love that will tolerate no deception and no misunderstanding in our relationship, that He will bring about His image in my life even if that means taking me through kindergarten lessons over and over and that He wants me to experience His perfect peace and unquenchable joy. I have also written that my obedience is the key to His craftsmanship in my life. God wants malleable clay that He can form into vessels to serve His purposes. My resistance to act according to His word only serves to make this man of clay unfit for the Potter. So, if God is going to bring into my life all the characteristics of His image – and in the process renew my mind so that I no longer listen to the lie – I will have to let Him make me as soft and pliable as needed.

Then I can praise Him for loosing my job. It is just one more step toward the plan He has for me. It is a lesson in humility. It is a reminder that I am not in charge of life. It is an unavoidable conclusion about my dependence. And it is a required step in learning the virtue of contentment.

I consider the marvelous way God has already engineered my life, the way that He connected me to others who are my trusted and valued community, the small joys He gives me with my family, the insights I find in my study and the display of His attention to every detail, even in a blade of grass. Am I not more valuable to Him than the wildflowers of the field? Yes, His Son says so – and God’s word is truth.

Now I am ready to pray. My praise leads me to understand that prayer is not manipulation or negotiation. Prayer is the exercise of trust in the integrity and reliability of God. I will pray to the Father because I trust He will listen – and He will act in accordance with His will for me. I will pray quite specifically about what I really need. That does not happen to be a job. What I really need is to be in perfect alignment with Him, doing exactly what He has asked me to do and equipped me to do, so that I become His image-bearer wherever He places me. What I really need is to be a delight to Him while I am on the practice field of life. If I trust Him and I trust His word, then I can boldly speak my mind.

“Yes, Lord, I need a job. But You know that. What I want to ask of You is not about employment. That I am confident You will supply. After all, You tell us that we can cast all our cares on You because You care for us. No, Lord, what I am asking is that You search me. More than anything, I want to be a delight to You. I know that until I am in perfect alignment with You, I will always be tempted to save myself. This, Lord, I will not do. Your word is truth. I choose to act on it and not act according to the circumstances surrounding me. You are my King. Command me and I will obey.”

“And now, Lord, I praise You that You have heard my prayer. I praise You that You have already determined how You will answer my prayer. I wait, expectantly, joyfully, to see the fulfillment of Your purposes in my life. Lord, I need nothing more. May You be glorified.”