Everywhere You Look

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.  Romans 15:2  NASB

Please – The wonderful thing about paradigms is that they help you make sense of the world.  In fact, if you start discovering anomalies in your world–things that just don’t add up–paradigms offer useful solutions.  You can claim that given more data the anomaly will be resolved.  Or you can claim that the “facts” behind the anomaly are not really facts at all.  They are mistakes.  Or you can point out that all paradigms suffer from a case of internal myopia (the world is what the paradigm says it is) and so it really doesn’t matter which one you choose.  All of these solutions have been offered in order to explain Paul’s “contradictory” teachings.  But the problem isn’t a theoretical one.  The problem is very practical.  What gets under your skin doesn’t go away just because you think differently.  Sometimes you have to scratch the itch.

Paradigms are supposed to make sense of the world.  A paradigm that suggests Paul converted to a religious view that no longer upheld the expectation of Torah runs into great difficulty when it confronts Paul’s own claims about his life.  Of course, it is possible to ignore these claims or to rewrite them so that they don’t appear Jewish, but it’s a problem.  These sorts of problems vanish when we look at Paul through a different paradigm.  If Paul is a Jewish rabbi living the life of a Jewish Pharisee as a follower of Yeshua HaMashiach, the Jewish Messiah, then his claims about his own conduct make perfect sense.  But then we have to read his other statements differently. 

“Let each of us please his neighbor” must be read in the context of rabbinic Jewish thought of the first century tempered by the teaching of the Messiah.  “Please” doesn’t mean “Do what they want.”  The Greek verb aresko implies creating a positive relationship.  It means, “Make peace,” “Reconcile.”  Interestingly, it is rarely used in relation to one’s self.  We are not to please ourselves.  We are to deny ourselves in order to please others.  Given Paul’s rabbinic background, what would it mean to please someone else?  We don’t really have to guess.  Paul tells us.  Look that the next two verses.  First we follow the example of Yeshua by denying our own desires in order to fulfill the will of the Father.  Then we realize that “whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction.”  And what might that be?  For Paul that can only be the Tanakh, the final authority on making peace and reconciliation.  “Whatever was written” means that we are to follow the instructions set down by the prophets.  We have a guidebook to follow.  But the point of following this guidebook is not our spiritual superiority.  The point is to make peace and reconcile with our neighbors.  By the way, that is precisely what Yeshua did.  He followed the book in order to please us.  The Tanakh makes no provision for tolerance, but it provides ample instruction for peace.  The world wants a free pass.  The Book calls for return and reconciliation.  Everywhere you look, the New Testament proclaims the same message as the Tanakh.  You just have to get into the right paradigm.

Topical Index:  please, aresko, peace, reconcile, paradigm, Romans 15:2

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Brian Toews

When you say,the tanakh makes no provision for tolerance.Are you saying that to rectify a situation with youre neighbor,the guidelines are all there for us in the tanakh?To deny oneself to please(reconcile)a neighbor,then means that whatever the situation is,youre attempt to reconcile(or not to reconcile) better not be hindered by any personal motives.

Dana Carpenter

Are there times when reconciliation just can’t happen? I’ve learned that for reconciliation to happen, both parties have to be willing to reconcile. From what you are revealing here in Romans 15, what if you try to reconcile with someone but they don’t respect you. They want power over you. I’m thinking of David and Saul. David wanted reconciliation with Saul but Saul had no intention to respect or reconcile with David due to his envy of him.

Daria

“what if you try to reconcile with someone but they don’t respect you. They want power over you.”
I have this exact situation with many in my family, including my 2 oldest daughters (ages 36 & 35.) Every single person I’m thinking of in this case hates Yeshua and God– the God of the Bible/the Hebrews/me. (It’s easy to reconcile with someone who claims to serve the Messiah! We just go to the Word and be honest about what the problem at hand is and what WE ARE TO DO to be in obedience to our LORD! If we are both serious about serving our Master, the relationship will automatically reconcile because HE IS AT THE CENTER. Humility will take over. However, if “serving the LORD” is all just smoke and mirrors, a much bigger problem than reconciliation of the two parties is at hand!)
So, to me, reconciliation is the peace inside of me that tells me I’ve given it my “all” to desire healthy relationship with boundaries… the sort of relationship that can appreciate one another but can also set boundaries.
No go with these folks. These people still want to control me and, in some cases, maybe even smash me! Sometimes, it seems they CRAVE it! So, I keep my distance and I leave room for God’s vengeance! And I pray… and I wait… because I truly love these people and I desire wholesome relationship.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL THE CHILDREN IN EACH OF OUR LIVES AND ALL OVER THE WORLD WHO ARE BEING RAISED BY PARENTS WHO HATE GOD.

Michael C

It’s amazing how I’ve struggled to make sense of things in the past primarily because of the paradigm I was taught.
It’s more amazing to see how quickly and easily things have been made more simple and clear merely by stepping out of
one and in to another paradigm. WAM! Ok, now that makes sense.

Understanding how paradigms form the basic structure of things has helped me tremendously in looking at things
differently. It has helped me read more critically and clearly except with less of a fog around my mind.

Daria

AMEN, Michael! Perfectly said! We all thank you so much, Skip, for teaching us how to “shift paradigms.”

Suzanne

Does reconciliation necessarily mean that I will again bring that person to my bosom as a trusted friend?

What happens when I approach someone with the desire to reconcile and an offer of friendship, and that person rejects the offer outright? Do I need to repeatedly go to that person with the same offer even though he continues to work evil towards me? I think there are circumstances where it is foolish to give trust again (unless there was a demonstrated change of behavior) and yet my heart is for there to be no ill will between us. Does reconciliation imply giving trust or are we really addressing our resolve to carry no animosity towards a person, even though he may continue to seek our harm?

Carol Mattice

Out of my own experience ; forgiveness and reconciliation are two different phases. I may forgive but as far as being reconciled to the former position of trust.. I don’t think so.
Inform me where I need to be taught differently or to believe differently. ( please anyone )

Suzanne

That really clarifies it for me — Thanks. 🙂