What You Don’t Know
“Stolen water is sweet; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”Proverbs 9:17 NASB
In secret – How foolish are we? Proverbs might help us decide the answer to this question. The woman of folly (‘eshet kesilut – “woman of insolence, stupidity”) is the public enticement to those who are attempting to follow the straight path. She doesn’t offer obvious disobedience. She is far more seductive. “Bread in secret” is her lure. In a world where public image is the economics of shame, a few hidden things can hardly do much damage. After all, who will really know what we did behind the closed door, away from the public eye, in the dark of the night?
Proverbs offers perhaps the sternest of warnings to anyone tempted by this ploy. What will we really find in the dark places of the ‘eshet kesilut? The dead! The mouth of Sheol! “Her guests are in the depths of Sheol.” The Eagles followed the author of this proverb when they wrote the words to “Hotel California.”
But far too often the warning falls on deaf ears. We really do believe that our secrets are safe with the foolish woman. What we don’t realize is that we are not Greek compartments. We are all connected. What happens in my secret world affects those around me even if they have no knowledge of my actions. Remember Achan who hid forbidden treasure in his tent (Joshua 7:16-26). Israel fell in battle for his secret sin. Thirty-sex men died because of him. And we think our lives are private?
Here’s what I know. When my life is out of sorts with God, when I harbor secrets and listen to the seduction of the foolish woman, other things go wrong. It’s not that God punishes me with calamity. It’s that other relationships seem to undergo added stress. It doesn’t matter that those other relationships are completely ignorant of my secret. It doesn’t matter that I keep it carefully tucked away. It’s as if the aura of my visit to the house of the foolish woman has smeared my skin with death—and chaos begins to find its way into everyone around me. The secret might not kill me (immediately) but it kills those who come into contact with me. They are infected by my unrighteousness. Secrets are a communicable disease.
What cure is there for allowing chaos to creep back into the lives of others? Achan was stoned to death. He and all his family and possessions were executed and burned to ashes. Radical surgery was needed to remove the secret offense. After all, he murdered thirty-six men. The fact that he confessed did not absolve him from punishment. That punishment extended to all his household. Certainly Solomon had this story in mind when he wrote about the ‘eshet kesilut.
The Hebrew word sether (secret) is often used for proper protection (for example, to hide myself in God). But it has another face as well. The words, “hide from the Lord” indicate a broken relationship with the Father, just as “bread in secret” breaks all kinds of other relationships. Must I be stoned, my family executed, my possessions burned in order to excise this disease from the life of my community? Perhaps. But maybe there is still forgiveness to be found. This much I must learn. The communicable disease of secrets is more deadly than AIDS. What you don’t know can kill you.
Topical Index: secret, sether, foolish woman, ‘eshet kesilut, Proverbs 9:17
“And your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”
So if we love one another we will keep His commandments.
Good stuff! I noticed years back that when I would fall into sin and look at pornography, that my wife would come under attack with very bad insecurity and self loathing. Always, and it was always on the same day…no coincidence. I knew it was coming when I would see her next. I figured that I had opened up the door some how to spiritual attack on her, maybe something to do with the law of adultery/jelousy. Maybe some sort of spiritual law or something, not exactly sure but this makes sense what you are saying. Its very true, and good to know to help see through deception.
Jacob, that’s interesting. I had a friend a number of years ago, and even her husband said she was insecure. So, several ladies who knew her attempted to encourage her. But it didn’t help. And then I discovered later that the husband was addicted to porn. There may be something to this.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
Skip, How does this fit in with lashan hara. Is processing an offense done to you with another person considered sin, doing it “in secret”?
I am not sure what you are asking. Please give me a bit more to work with.
I don’t believe in Disney theology – “Let your conscience be your guide.” However, for lack of a better descriptor, I’ll use the word ‘conscience’ – Nothing seems to make my wife and children more miserable than when MY conscience isn’t clean.
For example, my wife hates smoking/cigarettes/the smell/etc. I got hooked in high school and smoked off and on for over a decade. I’m not saying the Torah condemns smoking directly, but the emphasis here is on the secrecy. When I was trying to keep my smoking secret – I tried to get as much time as possible AWAY from my family. Then, when I was with them – I still had a lot of brain power being devoted to second-guessing if I had covered my tracks sufficiently and to planning my next ‘smoke break’. I would shy away from affection, I would leave for hours, and it affected every area of my life.
Since losing the desire to smoke (Thank-you God!), I’ve found that smoking wasn’t my biggest problem. I’m still twisted – and that same pattern needs to be broken in a hundred other areas. There is no such thing as compartmentalizing our secret indulgences.
On of my favorite songs, know it well….
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
‘this could be heaven or this could be hell’
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…
Welcome to the Hotel California
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0G1Ucw5HDg&feature=kp
This is why it is so important for leaders of a church to receive the discernment that God has for them and to behave according God’s teaching not to become a lukewarm church. The preachers and teachers in our churches today need to teach what means to be holy. To obey God’s voice and keep His covenant.
Curtis, I think part of the problem is the nicolaitanism inherent in the religious system. The leadership is cut off from examination, except by their own. What you end up with is a Union of Hen-House Guarding Foxes, and the hens are to be subordinate and silent. I’ve discovered that groups that believe spiritual gifts are for today also dismiss the gift of discernment for anyone other than the leadership.
Interesting that in recent history so many men have gotten in trouble due to things done in secret, to the point of allowing classified material to slip to their love interests. A professor of Behavior Economics discussed a research study that demonstrated persons in an calm state were poor predictors of how they would react in an aroused state. Tradition in Japan is for a man to provide an expensive parting gift to a mistress he wishes to discard, which guarantees her secrecy. There was a scandal where the mistress of an important Japanese official spilled the beans, that was traced to what she viewed as an inadequate, and therefore insulting, parting gift.
So, how can one avoid those who might contaminate us with things we may not be aware of, like Achan? My only conclusion is to run from those we know are in this situation. If I don’t know someone personally, I’ve been able to test how they respond to challenges. Is there more?
It must be clear that “if we are followers of what is Good, nothing can harm us.” That is why God spoke through Ezekiel to state clearly that we alone are responsible for our own sin. Seeing others affected by others’ sin reflects in that person; not the forsaking of our personal responsibility before God.