Cultural Alterations
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31:10 NASB
Excellent – By now we all realize that any translation of ‘eshet hayil that shifts the meaning toward internal qualities leads us in the wrong direction. ‘eshet hayil is the Hebrew expression often translated “excellent wife,” “virtuous wife,” “wife of noble character,” or something like that. All of these translations push us away from the warrior characteristics in the Hebrew terms. “A warrior woman” is more like the Hebrew. Hayil communicates the ideas of power, strength, bravery, competence and valor. It’s associated with descriptions of armies and forces, land ownership and wealth. This kind of woman is certainly not the demure, reserved, submissive little woman so often portrayed in religious circles. She is more like Joan of Arc than the blond angels floating on cathedral ceilings. Do you have her true character firmly in mind?
Good. Now notice something quite odd. “ . . . the women judged acceptable by Proverbs are largely desexualized, figures like the famous ‘woman of valor’ who is praised at great length in Proverbs 31 but who is of interest for her work ethic and wisdom, not her sex appeal.”[1] Do you find Weitzman’s insight a bit uncomfortable? There is a reason why most men are intrigued by a good looking woman strapped with a 9mm on her hip. Sexuality is a form of power. The combination is almost irresistible. But the woman in Proverbs seems stripped of sexual appeal. Why?
Perhaps the first approach to answering this question is to notice the author of this famous text. It is the mother of King Lemuel, probably the king of Massa, a North Arabian nation.[2] This means that the oracle given to King Lemuel and adopted by the Hebrew scribes who collected the material for the book of Proverbs originates outside of Israel’s community. It might fit the context of Proverbs, but it comes from an unknown worldview.
Second, notice the purpose of this oracle. It is a warning to the king about behavior that will lead to trouble. And it starts with an alarm about women. “Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings.” In other words, Lemuel’s mother is keenly aware of the possibility of sex as power, and she specifically directs her son away from this fact of life. She wants him to pay attention to the other qualities that a woman possesses. She does not want her son, the king, to get caught in the grip of sexual politics. Therefore, what she emphasizes is everything else. Knowing kings as she does, she has no need to explain the birds and the bees. That part is obvious.
King Lemuel’s mother emphasizes the power of the warrior woman precisely because a king would recognize the advantages of having such a wife. That this warrior woman is also sexually appealing is simply assumed. And why not? Kings can have what they want. Our mistake (if it is a mistake) is to ignore the fact that this poetry comes from a woman who is trying to protect her son. Of all people, she knows the power of sexuality and she wants her son to realize that there is a great deal more to the woman he needs. But if we think that this poem is all that a biblical woman needs to be, we have missed the obvious. This warrior woman is also a daughter of Rahab who was considered the most beautiful woman on earth.
Topical Index: ‘eshet hayil, warrior woman, valor, virtuous, Proverbs 31:10, King Lemuel
[1] Steven Weitzman, Solomon: The Lure of Wisdom, p. 29.
[2] See Claude Mariottini, https://claudemariottini.com/2009/05/18/who-was-king-lemuel/
Good insight.
Women have a problem when they play the sex card, as in EITHER that “demure, reserved, submissive little woman” OR that “good looking woman strapped with a 9mm on her hip”, and that is that, in this world, I have found that the game is not chess; it is more like Tic Tac Toe. To win the game – once both players know the variables – can only occur if a: you go first, and b: if you choose EITHER the middle or a corner (read above card descriptions for the woman) because these are what men are primed to respond to. But there is something else I have realized in this world, too, and that is that a woman can only play the roles (both sexual) allowed her, and win (by making that first, choosing move in either of those directions), IF she has a man who has her back already. A father is ideal, but a brother, or even a son or uncle will do; someone who has it in their personal interests to counter any cheating or advantageous moves by the interested other man because I have found that there is no such move by the woman herself in her own protective interests that is recognized or respected by men once she plays EITHER of the above cards. The game is loaded against her from the outset if she is on her own, and she is only going to attract men who want to use her. Its the way the entire world is set up, like it or not. This is about raw power, and most women don’t even know it unless or until they find themselves without the presence of that other backing, protective man countering those untoward moves (and believe me, men are going to check that out FIRST).
So what is a woman to do on her own cognizance for herself? Sister women, we have to engage this one!
I want to tell men something, if they did not know it already, and that is that a woman is going to be a whole lot better even sexually if she is also allowed to be her own warrior first; her own champion, and fight for herself. Men are trained to fear a woman who stands up for her own self, and represent herself as a real person – they would rather fight another man for her than fight her – but men need to learn how to fight women directly if they truly want a coequal power relationship, instead of just another boring Tic Tac Toe game.
I want to tell other women something, too, if they did not know it already, and that is that a man needs to demonstrate an ability (read; bravery) to engage directly with a woman instead of just sitting back and evaluating her circumstances (read: #wheresherotherman). If he does not have the freedom and self confidence to handle himself – as well as you – on any terms YOU choose, you may be in for just another boring Tic Tac Toe game yourself.
Miss Hayes over the top a little too much information but good for those who aren’t aware of situations. You sounded like a detective revealing the case until the guilty party is revealed in every area. This causes me to think about the Jezebel syndrome we’ll call it that for now. He can take on either male or female form but wants to always take command and we can the other party in control and manipulate and kill if necessary not to say not all women are born with this but the similarities are there please don’t get me wrong on this! I had mentioned before Isaiah where the spirit of the Lord rests upon him spirit of wisdom Spirit of knowledge and so forth including the fear of the Lord. Possibility of a man and a woman walking in fulfillment of this prophecy is astounding. Isaiah chapter 11 first 5 versus speed
I would say if that Jezebel spirit or whatever is defined by “wants to always take command and..the other party (be) in control and manipulate and kill if necessary” than I would say that a man is assumed to have it by default simply by being a man, worldly speaking. In other words, he has to repent of it when it comes to women and be willing to start over on a new basis entirely. Men are handed a ‘divine right’, as it were, at conception to assume this power; not that many, or even most, of them do, but they have it in their DNA and by how the world’s ‘justice’ is organized.
For example, IF a woman plays her sex, as taught her by the world as being her only power, than the man automatically takes that as a signal that “all’s fair in love/war” and goes on the offensive. My point is that only another man at that point can keep him from exercising that power IF he thinks it is warranted. The woman is assumed to have ‘given’ him that ‘right’ by virtue of the fact that she was EITHER ‘virtuous’ OR ‘sexy’. At that point, if she gets herself killed because her proxy man did not keep the pursuing man beat back for her, it is assumed to be her fault. You cannot argue overwhelming evidence.
Women who retaliate by attempting to seize the only viable power recognized in the interplay between the sexes are labeled for it as being aggressive RIVALS for that power. Hence, sulking men.
I am not defending the problem. I am only trying to define it.
P.S. I want to thank and commend you, Brother Brett, for engaging me directly!
I hate what you described as much as I can see you do, but, to be honest, I have found myself hating it in men much more often than in women, although it is equally odious in both.
Miss Hayes your public honesty and honesty has been seen by two or more witnesses and God will help establish and you what you have decreed.
Double thought I apologize your honesty and humility have been seen and noted in a public display and God will grant you the ability to overcome through his. Spirit which is eternal in substance and display. Hallelujah praise the. God Of Heaven and Earth
To me, it seems to be a description, more than a definition. There may be other accurate descriptions, but this one seems appropriate.
Back to Laurita’s comment on the previous blog… We need to experience to be able to share or appreciate and trust in. A mother cannot teach something she does not have faith in, a father can because he accepts it is possible. Man versus woman… A real man does not dominate his wife, he gently guides her to where she needs to be as there is a greater advantage in for him than an obedient spouse… True words Laurita.
But a strong woman does not deny her husband she strengthens his weaknesses so that he can achieve even greater outcomes…
Is this not why Peter recommended that widows form a group to teach the young wives how to be true supportive wives.
Now if this was outside the Hebrew oracles how did this affect the actual oracle’s as Pual taught submissive woman (majority scriptural view even in Hebraic teachings today) but upheld one important view… The man can still be saved through the wives faith… Not doctrine but living out of her convictions founded on her experiences (my view).
Now how do we get others to trust in God if they do not experience Him… In the one guiding or through their shattered experiences.
Skip I think this insight fits nicely in the compassionate or encircling descriptive role of a woman’s godly blueprint…
Absolutely, Seeker: “But a strong woman does not deny her husband she strengthens his weaknesses so that he can achieve even greater outcomes.” You provided the key word: strong. What makes a woman strong? If the world is correct that it is her husband, then how is he to trust her when he finds himself in a weak place? A woman that can protect herself can protect her man, too.
My wife’s walk was with the doctrines of the church Catholic which led me to the Lord when she saw the drastic immediate change she repented and accepted the Lord also. Question even though her walk is now strong in Christ there are still strong tendencies to the Catholic Church such is the case with most of the Christian belief system. The Hebrew oracles are not in this movement but how can the bride of Christ which the Christian church called the mother of God adapt two such strong Hebrew belief?
I believe it is the mother that makes a woman strong while the father encourages…
The world view is that a husband is added to her life to make it complete…
Now I wonder who was lonely and needed flesh of his flesh etc. So the correct view should be a woman is added to a man’s life to make it complete. Wonder why?
Let us not get confused Laurita you once wrote it is the way they are hardwired that makes them strong…
But take heed as Skip is highlighting the sexual side of a woman is what can destroy a man not the strong side…
I get his point, but the world leaves little to NO room for it in that it only gives men and women sexual ways to interact with each other. We are not taught how to interface well on other terms, leaving each marriage (or casual encounter) to painfully reinvent the wheel if they want something more than the boring and ineffective – not to mention potentially deadly – interchanges that were taught them by society.
Cultural influences rather than cultural alterations determine the attitude of a humans not their strength interesting suggestion Laurita. And this is the excuse that keeps us from growing to what our potential truly is… But rather growing into another individual trapped in society norms instead of freed in Christ…