Ghost of the Past
Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. Genesis 32:24 NASB
Left alone – Who is the “man” Jacob wrestles? Perhaps we need to listen to another story of psychological isolation. “You are the man!”[1] As I have explained in my book Crossing, Jacob isn’t wrestling with some apparition nor with the supposed pre-incarnate Christ nor with YHVH. Jacob is wrestling with the man who comes to us when we are “left alone.” “You are the man!”
The Hebrew text of “left alone” is yātar lebaddô. It’s not just “by himself.” “The word also has a negative connotation when a man is abandoned by his community or by God.”[2] This is psychological isolation.
“ . . . the most terrifying and destructive feeling that a person can experience is psychological isolation. This is not the same as being alone. It is a feeling that one is locked out of the possibility of human connection and of being powerless to change the situation. In the extreme, psychological isolation can lead to a sense of hopelessness and desperation. People will do almost anything to escape this combination of condemned isolation and powerlessness.”[3]
Jacob has to come to terms with what he has become; all the manipulation, scheming, lying that creates his “name.” And now he is at the end. He can’t go forward into the Promised Land of YHVH because in that Land, YHVH is the ruler. He has to submit. But before he can submit, he has to turn away from the man he has constructed. And just like David, he is alone in his disobedience. What Jacob needs more than anything else is empathy—for himself and for all those who have been drawn into his past life. But how? How can he find empathy for the “man” who only wants what he wants?
“The prerequisite for empathy is compassion. We can only respond empathetically if we are willing to hear someone’s pain.”[4] And so Jacob must bear the pain of the “other” Jacob. It is the fight of his life. He can’t win, and he cannot lose. The end is something we also tend to misread. The end is a new name, a new identity that will allow him to have compassion—and empathy—for the rest of his life. A new Jacob arises, a Jacob who gives back the blessing he stole, who agonizes over his failure as a father and who becomes the regal patriarch of Israel. “You are the man!” From isolation to inclusion, generation to generation. And so are you—the “man.”
Topical Index: man, isolation, yātar lebaddô, left alone, Crossing, Genesis 32:24
[1]2 Samuel 12:7
[2]Goldberg, L. (1999). 201 בָּדַד. R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer Jr., & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament(electronic ed., p. 90). Chicago: Moody Press.
[3]Miller, J. B. and Stiver, I. P. The healing connection: How women form relationships in both therapy and in life (Beacon Press, 1997).
[4]Brené Brown,I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), (2007), p. xxv.
Skip, you quoted Miller and Stiver saying:
“ . . . the most terrifying and destructive feeling that a person can experience is psychological isolation. This is not the same as being alone. It is a feeling that one is locked out of the possibility of human connection and of being powerless to change the situation. In the extreme, psychological isolation can lead to a sense of hopelessness and desperation. People will do almost anything to escape this combination of condemned isolation and powerlessness.” Boy, do I know this feeling. For decades I have experienced this very phenomenon. The only thing I disagree with is the final conclusion that “People will do almost anything to escape this combination of condemned isolation and powerlessness.” In my personal experience once you are captured by its grip you can’t do anything to escape it (it seems). After struggling for so long you simply, sadly give up. It takes a Divine encounter or intervention, like the one Jacob miraculously experienced at the River Jabbok. I’m still waiting, wandering and weeping. Maybe I need to start wrestling…before my final sunrise.
Good morning Michael.
I think we must all go through the stages of grief, but most folks avoid the telegram about the death and above all the funeral at all costs: they don’t want to meet the end of themselves. However, some of us are blessed (the lucky life) to find ourselves conscripted (usually by the choices of others ) on that train of the spiritually poverty-stricken, mourning, meek and the hungry and thirsty whether we wanted to or not, but wait: that’s the first half of the trip! You’re on the right train, but you get to choose the driver and how fast it goes. It is so hard for folks who are still “rich” in pride, self-sufficiency and the accouterments of the world such as fame, fortune or family to get through the needle’s eye that the ones the world throws under the bus have to face or die. You really are so lucky!
I had to realize that I was in control of who drove the train and how it was fueled and how fast it went and where it was going by my choice of motivators. Those motivators not of God are liars and so convincing that they are just ‘you’: this is just who you are and you can do NOTHING about it. Liars! Everything that is not how God thinks or feels is not of Him, and, by extension, not of us, either. Despair, victim mentality, self pity, hopelessness, bitterness, regret, shame, paranoia, rejection, a spirit of infirmity: these crispy critters open the door for all their friends and you are buried in your basement while they enjoy the full run of your throne room. They make your choices for you (slavery) and give you the dregs like the parasites they are.
You can clean house but first you have to identify the rascals (stinking thinking) and do a trade: repent (hate and reject) and then ask for deliverance. I had real problems with panic, which is very spiritual, even though it has solid roots in biology expression. When I repented of fear and told fear I wasn’t going to base any decisions on it, it was a fight until fear (and I) knew I was serious. At that point, my biology straightened right up. God delivers us, but we have to start taking responsibility. The biology will follow. This is how healing works.
Wrestling with what we THINK is ‘ourselves’, but is really not of God or us: we avoid it like the nemesis it is. We hide our rotten motivators under every rock: most folks like to hide their stinking thinking under rocks that look like righteousness, I have realized. That’s human. Truth sets us free, but only when we finger the rotten LYING rascals and refuse their ‘help’ any more. I have had to learn (still learning) how to not think, breathe, or choose if love is not in the driver’s seat. Deliverance from there is learning how to let go and let God. It is so freeing when He takes all the bitterness out, but we do have to let go of (what we think is) ourselves, first. This is the wrestling match. It’s just easier with us who have already been losing that match. Cut bitterness and despair and friends loose already: they are the losers; not you – as soon as you make them that way, that is! They have to run when you get the Saviour involved and QUIT FACING THEM ALL ALONE. This is how sovereigns under the great King act. Still learning!
Love, Laurita
Thanks Laurita. I will not only miss your insights and commentary on Skip’s writing, but also the personal console, comfort and council you generously bestow upon those of us who suffer from the slings and arrows of the enemy, others and ourselves. Blessings upon you my sister and friend.
I’m going to ask the question again does anyone see another possibility for us to continue to have dialogue to have fellowship I have found nowhere else were these deep issues of life have been discussed and able to applied to my life to those around me this is the only place is there anyone else who would like to continue this how should we go about it could we Can we incur the cost financially that it would take to continue to keep this portion of the blog open with
out burdening Skip does anyone else have that desire???
Baruch, there is a Facebook group called “Today’s Word Messianic Community.” Send a request to join.
Well said Laurita! As usual, your comments are both enlightening and messy at the same time. I am really going to miss you!! Hopefully we can connect in the future. You and Skip have truly changed my perspective in a Good way! THANK YOU BOTH. And KEEP surrendering Michael— He will not let you sink when you finally let go.
Like it or not, each of us finds ourself
living in “the world of me.” Escape appears
impossible. And by ourselves, it is.
Oswald Chambers coins it “giving up the
right to yourself”. It is THE tough fight we
all face. “Me” is a tough, tough opponent.
The victory, however, has already been won
on our behalf by Yeshua. “But take heart! I have
overcome the world.” Jn 16:33
I can’t tell you how many times I got off that
wrestling mat, thinking I had finally beat it.
But who’s kidding who?
It’s not my victory I need. It’s His!
And his hand is extended to me 24/7.
And to you. Grab ahold.
Hey Michael- I have felt this way a few seasons in my life. My encouragement for you, and many others is—recognize the difference between giving up and submitting.
This is the kind of response I was speaking about when I commented yesterday those who often make contributions in statement
reveal their inner most heart feelings where we feel the most pain where we feel the most need for healing and a touch for someone to listen to embrace us in compassion these are the things the comments the insights that I have been so rewarding to me in coming out of that dark dark pit of despair and loneliness thank you Michael thank you Skip for goading us into seeing who We are and who father reveals himself to be if we search for him . Yes we really do get stuck in that isolation until his presence is felt I think this desire to do whatever it takes to get out of that isolation that loneliness is when the father reveals his light to us he will woos us
Surrendering to God, love the take, I first thought of Matthew 27 45 to 60, which comes from Psalm 22. What a difference between the so-called comfort even though it didn’t seem like it oh, that God was listening to having no one but yourself. God has allowed us to cross over, and be Resurrected to the life that God has made available to us, we are reminded not to take it for granted. Sometimes he brings us to the reality again. When we are at the end of our rope. He gives us hope, and that hope is an anchor to our soul, which we can share with others, when we show Mercy to others oh, God shows Mercy to us. Shalom have a wonderful weekend. Come up I’m trusting that we continue to pray for each other prayer is the most important comfort even Mercy we can show to others thanks. B. B.
This TW reminds me of a quiet friend I met in Snowbird Florida some years ago. He dropped by one day as I was reading Crossing and asked me about it. I didn’t know much about him or his wife at the time but he told me they were both black ordained Baptist ministers from NYC. I asked him if he attended the campground services on Sunday and he replied, “that man doesn’t speak to me” which I in my naivety took literally. He explained his vernacular and we laughed.
As I was just finishing the book I gave it to him to read. He brought it back a few days later and replied, “now that man DOES speak to me” and we began a discussion about religion, politics, them being the only blacks in a southern white campground environment and many other things. They became some of our best friends, Penny teaching his outgoing wife Rose to quilt which she gobbled up with her massive enthusiasm for anything and everything, Frank learning the ins and outs of campground life which he explained was not part of black culture.
Sadly, last year Frank died in the arms of his wife from a massive stroke. His memorial service was attended by a large crowd of people but it was also noticeable by some who did not attend for reasons that do not need explanation. We learned a lot about both black and white American culture from them for which I will be eternally grateful coming so openly and honestly of which I knew almost nothing. He is much missed and I will forever remember his “Crossing” commentary introduction.
I pulled your book “Crossings” off my bookshelf to re-read this morning. It will be interesting to see how it speaks to me this time, compared to last year. Shalom.
Does anyone have a thought on “what” or “who” caused Jacob’s hip to get wrenched? Perhaps, it’s in the book, “The Crossings.”