The Hesitant Petitioner
But I—may my prayer to You, O LORD, come in a favorable hour. God, as befits Your great kindness, answer me with Your steadfast rescue. Psalm 69:14 [Hebrew Bible] Robert Alter
But I – Most English Bibles gloss this Hebrew word, rendering it as “but as for me.” However, Alter correctly catches the hesitation, the break in thought left by this virtual particle, va-ʾănî. It’s as if David starts another sentence and then suddenly realizes that what he intends to say isn’t appropriate. He jerks to a halt, and begins again with a plea about his prayer rather than an excuse or rationale for his situation. How many times have we done the same? We automatically allow the yetzer ha’ra to deflect a threat to our egos by instantaneously offering some excuse. It’s happened so many times that we don’t even think before we exonerate ourselves. Then we realize what we’ve done (hopefully) and either retract the claim or feel more humiliation for trying to duck the blame. That’s where David starts—and finishes. Before the next word can escape his lips he realizes the trajectory and stops cold. He switches gears completely. No more complaints. No more protestations of innocence.
Now he asks only one thing—that God will pay attention to him. “Let my prayer come favorably before You.” In other words, “Lord, I hope I’m catching You in a good mood.” Then David offers some flattery. “Your great kindness” is one Hebrew hyphenated word, rab–ḥāsdê, the combination of rab, “great” and ḥesed, which we all know means several different relationship-based actions at the same time. Actually, it isn’t flattery. It’s connection. What David does is remind God (does He need reminding?) that there is a powerful ḥesed relationship between God and him, and that is enough for God to intervene on his behalf. In fact, we might even be so bold (and David is bold) as to suggest that this connection demands that God act. As David writes, “Answer me,” “ʿānē’nî.” Answer, respond, speak, shout, testify, oh, and by the way, the same consonants are found in another root meaning afflict, oppress, and humble. Perhaps David’s choice intimates both word groups at the same time. Affliction and oppression seek answers, especially from God.
Alter translates the end of this verse as “Your steadfast rescue.” The Hebrew combination is ʾĕmet and yēšaʿ. Literally, “firm saving.” We may find ourselves drifting toward Western evangelical interpretations, but that would probably be a mistake. David isn’t looking for “Jesus” to “save” him. He’s counting on the steadfastness of God’s promise to Israel to motivate God’s rescue, that is, to either provide him reinforcements or move him to a wide open space where this emotional claustrophobia is vanquished. TWOT notes: “That which is wide connotes freedom from distress and the ability to pursue one’s own objectives. To move from distress to safety requires deliverance. Generally the deliverance must come from somewhere outside the party oppressed.”[1] In essence, David is enlisting God’s personal character description found in Exodus. Compassion based on ḥesed commitment generates reliable rescue. And since God Himself designates these elements as primary in His character, David can be confident that God will respond. Perhaps that’s the confidence we need when the walls are closing in. ḥesed has very tangible implications; implications that David employs often in his struggles with circumstances. It might be, as the rabbis suggest, that God ultimately engineers our lives so that what we confront can be used to increase ʾĕmûnâ, but in the midst of it all we need more than a theory. We need the comfort of knowing He hears and He cares. And then we wait.
Topical Index: ʾĕmûnâ, steadfastness, yēšaʿ, rescue, save, ḥesed, va-ʾănî, Psalm 69:14
[1] Hartley, J. E. (1999). 929 יָשַׁע. R. L. Harris, G. L. Archer Jr., & B. K. Waltke (Eds.), Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (electronic ed., p. 414). Chicago: Moody Press.
